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email: atsee27@yahoo.com

Dale's Current Status: Grade 3, still Included in a regular parochial school. Doing just fine. Cheers!

Update

Dale developed a fever yesterday, highest was 39. The doctor said it might be because of the leg, or it might be because of something else, since he's been sneezing, too. He was prescribed an antibiotic (na pagkamahal-mahal!).

His leg is doing better, btw.

so, i went to the guidance office yesterday, but before that I already called them to set an appointment. the one who answered asked me what it was about, and I said it was kinda serious, that I wanted to see THE guidance counselor, and that Dale was in the hospital (i didn't say doctor's clinic) because of a classmate.

before I got there, of course, the buzz was already going on. the adviser was so nervous that she already talked to the other teachers, coz apparently, NOBODY knows what's been going on. All the teachers suspected Karl, though, coz he's been bullying daw Dale lagi. (It's Clyde who was doing the karate chops on him.)

when you go to school to pick up Dale, you'll notice that almost everyone calls his name. and Dale doesn't respond to it. i knew why when I talked to him. He said, it's irritating!

of course, it does! who wouldn't be irritated? kahit tayong mga "normal" people, maiirita.

so, I told them to talk to the whole class, and other classes as well, to stop it. Dale is special enough for him to realize it, as well.

My children are well-known sa school nila, because of Dale and my daughter, Anea, who's always at the top of her class. My bunso, Tony, gets attention, too, because of them. And since they all speak in English (Anea and Tony can speak Tagalog), they really can stand out among native-speakers. Lalo na kapag naguusap na silang magkakapatid. They can't help it, coz Dale wouldn't understand them if they don't, so it just comes naturally. And this is one point that the teachers and counselors gave me as a reason why Dale gets a lot of attention.

Well, that's swell! Pano na lang yun, eh ganun na talaga si Dale since he learned how to talk? *sigh*

when I told them about the fighting and tripping incident, they assured me that it will be dealt with accordingly. they all flipped when they learned that the tripping was done by two grade one girl students. syempre nga naman, ano namang connection nila kay Dale.

No, I did not freak out or tell them off like a non-educated mother. As a "teacher" as well, I understand the difficulty of the situation. I know that the teachers are doing their best naman. Considering the fact that it is a regular school and that they are not really educated in handling special children.

I also requested that the mothers of those children be notified about it, and they said that's the protocol naman. They will notify me of the developments within the week.

Hay. Wish ko lang di na maulit. *hehe*

Dale's little accident, and his classmate's soon-to-be big accident. (joke!)

Dale is special.

He talks a little faster than most kids.
He is afraid of the dark.
He is scared of the rain.
He hates trees.
He stares at nothing when boredom strikes.
He hums.

He tells me that his brain works differently.

Dale is special.

And I won't have him any other way.

I just wish that other people accepts him the way I do.






Dale woke up yesterday, and couldn't stand up straight. Couldn't walk properly. I saw his left knee was a little bigger than the other one. When I asked him, he said he didn't know what happened.

Tonight, it's still the same. My Mom will take him to the doctor tomorrow to have it checked.

I asked him again what happened to it. He then said:

"Can we talk in private?"

Jaw-dropped, I carried him to the other room so we can talk "in private."

He said that everyday, his classmate, a certain Clyde fights him (karate) during the assembly.

What he said made my blood boil. I asked him what exactly did this Clyde do to him. He became confused and irritated and said he doesn't remember exactly what happens everyday, but since Clyde attacks him, he has to block it.

I asked him if it hurts, the way Clyde attacks him, he said yes. He also mentioned two other boys who bullies him, and two girls from another section, who tripped him twice during recess, and almost made him drop his food.

Yes, Clyde is just a kid, but it doesn't stop me from being angry. Today, it might just be a sprained knee, but what about tomorrow then? Will I wait for him to have his neck broken?

I am freaking angry. Not just with him, or with their teacher, or with everybody at school. I am angry at everything. At Dale's situation. At the unfairness of it all.

When will it all stop?

I'm going to school tomorrow, and I wish that I can control my temper. But, by God, I will all make them sorry they ever messed with my son.

I do teach my children to fight for themselves. Not "fight" fight. But to stand up. Be taken seriously. "No" means no. But obviously, Dale cannot do it yet. So, I have to do it for him.

He told me not to get angry tomorrow. He is afraid that it will cause the bullies to bully him even more.

As I was helping him walk to the room, I told him:

"Get just one hair from those idiots, and i'll make them pa-barang."

He laughed. I said, "what's so funny? I mean it."

"Oh, Mom. You just say it funny."

As if he knew what barang meant. Haha.

No, of course, I didn't mean it. I don't know anyone who knows how to kasi. *laughing maniacally*

first day high

Hay... today was the first day of school. I was getting a little apprehensive days before, thinking what could go wrong today. Especially since I cannot come with him. I asked my sister-in-law to accompany my kids to school.

After an hour or two, she texted me that Dale doesn't want to go inside the classroom. Just for one reason--he's been transfered to another section.

Their school has this 'policy' that your section from Grade One will still be your section until you graduate. He was in St. Dominic for 2 years already. But the old section was dissolved. So, he's now in St. Matthew.

The guidance counsellor took an hour to convince him to go to class.

When he got home, I asked him what happened. He smiled at me, and told me that he even asked his teacher (Ms. Celedio) to take down the sign, and replace it with St. Dominic. Haha.

But he promised he will go to the room tomorrow without any problems. He even showed me his diary where he wrote his daily schedule and some reminders, in cursive, no less. He needs to practice writing in cursive now. His teachers forgave him for not doing so in Grade 2, but not this year.

I'm praying that there will be no problems tomorrow or the next, and if there were, I pray for strength, and I pray that Dale can overcome everything.

April 10

Since we have insurance already, i brought Dale and Tony to the dentist to have their teeth cleened. Here is Kuya being so happy... hehe.




and a little worried.





but he didn't cry!





And here was Anton:





his gag reflex was a little active that time, but he finished the process okay.





Next time, it will be Anea's turn (one who's really scared of the dentist).

when later becomes better

When Anea was just a baby and some of the kids I knew from my friends were growing, I'd be so envious at how they were talking so fluently in English. I'd marvel at their pronunciation and diction. I told myself my kids are going to be like these kids in the future.

True enough, they all did. Anea lost the consistent use of the language when she entered preparatory. She learned nicely in preschool. Dale gained it in special school and at home. Tony gained it because of Dale. Since Dale speaks and understands only English before, everyone was "obliged" to use it. We just realized our mistake when he entered Regular school.

But now, I'm pleased that Dale can understand more tagalog words. He can even try talking in Tagalog, but still, he's been experiencing difficulties, both with meaning and pronunciation. We studied Sibika today, and it took us a long time to get everything right.

Noli Me Tangere, he pronounces like "tangerine". And El Filibusterismo, as "bus" like what we ride on... and the "o" in the end is very-well pronounced. Super sleng, kumbaga. If you hear him say it, you might think it funny at first, but when he cannot pronounce it right after a number of tries, that's when you start to pity him.

He kept on saying Apolinio Manibi (Apolinario Mabini), and he just couldn't get it right. He started being annoyed and wanted to cry in frustration.

Until he just gave up and said he wanted to sleep coz he was so tired of studying. Of course, I let him sleep. We can always try again later.

Everything about Dale comes with perfect timing and consistency. I'm sure later, everything will be better.

To clarify...

What i wrote earlier does not mean that i am sad about what Dale said. I wrote that as a literary piece. But, if you are going to ask me, I AM DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY. It only means one thing to me--Dale is feeling and thinking like a normal child. Like everyone else.

For the longest time, I did not think that it matters to him. And now, he brings me tears, pain, realization and discovery.

It made me cry buckets of happy tears.

Hooray for Dale!

realization and understanding....

Earlier, Dale and I were lying on the bed and he began asking me questions about a very old stuffed toy I have.

"Where did Garfield come from?" he asked while he played with it.

"Daddy gave that to me when he was just my boyfriend. When we were teenagers."

What came next was never expected. Dale, my son who was diagnosed as having autism at age 3, began crying.

"That means love, mommy!" I turned around at the sound of his distressed voice.

"Yes. Why are you crying?" I asked him, surprised and concerned at the same time.

"You said Daddy gave you this when you were boyfriends. It means Daddy loves you! Then what happened? Did you love Daddy?" he asked, looking at Garfield intently.

"Yes."

"Oh. So, it's him." he said matter-of-factly as he began wiping away his tears. "Don't worry, Mommy. I will talk to Daddy."

I dare not ask him what he meant by "it's him," I felt so vulnerable, I don't even know how to react to all of it.

"And what will you tell him?" I asked curiously.

"I'll tell him to take you back." and with that, he smiled at me. A smile that will make you believe in the possibility of happy-ever-afters.

If only I can bring myself to smile back.

problems

there were problems with his behavior last month. Almost everyday, there were notes from his teachers in his diary. It was heartbreaking to see. After several months of being okay in school, here we go again.

he wouldn't write on his notebooks, he only cooperates during two classes (same teacher), and since he didn't write, we didn't know he had a Math project to submit, so, 70%.

when i talked to him seriously, he said:

"coz i'm sad... and i want Papa (his lolo) to come home. Can he come home?"

he said he wanted his Papa to come and be the one to accompany him to school again. coz Papa makes him happy, and Papa knows all the cool games. He's fun!

Hay...

and then he told me something that made my blood boil. He asked me:

"Mommy, what is behavioral problem?"

I asked him where he got that. He said:

"I have it. I have behavioral problems. I read it from the school health record. I also have speech problems."

I was speechless.

"You see? That's why I talk like this... so fast... and that's why I can't listen and I stand up in class... I have problems."

I have to tell myself to breathe, before I start to explode and run to his school and demand an explanation. I have to act rationally, and calmly.

His guidance counsellor didn't know about his problems as it turned out. The teachers weren't telling him. And they talked to the nurse and adviser right away after my complaint.

Now, we all know why he is being so difficult.

As of today, he's been doing okay again. I just hope that it continues.

Working Mom July 2007 feature

Around the end of March this year, I was approached by Working Mom editor Joy Rojas, asking me if they could feature me in their magazine. I knew this would happen, as Ms. Marissa Lopez said they would give my article to the publication. I thought they would just have my article printed of some sort, but it was an interview by very talented and kind Janet Villa. A photo shoot came next by Alfred Mendoza.

The interview went well. I felt like I have known Janet for a long time. In most cases, I can be a very good judge of character and I am not mistaken with Janet.

Alfred, of course, was very patient. I am a self-confessed camwhore. BUT, I do the taking. However, that time, it was a different person, and I really had a very difficult time focusing. My lips were quiverring all the time, and I just couldn't relax. Plus the fact that I thought that I would really look bad in those pictures coz I was so fat and so sick-looking. Hehe.

Anyway, a lot happened after the interview. My supposed to be happy marriage ended about a week after it. It wasn't a sad ending. There weren't nasty fights or something. I am not even sure if this is the end of it all. I am still hoping for an unbroken family. Maybe not now.

I just wanna say thanks to Janet for being subtle and not including everything I have said. God bless you and your family as well.