exploring possibilities

Dale's McDonald's Kiddie Crew Experience

2011-04-05T17:46:00.003+08:00

I enrolled my 2 boys (Dale and Tony) as Kiddie Crew at McDonald's Glorietta. Today is their 2nd day. I was apprehensive about Dale, as usual, being "exposed." Although I really am proud of him, I just have other thoughts that, again, Dale proved I shouldn't have.

During the orientation, they went on a tour around the store/kitchen. Dale was the oldest among the 7 crew members. They were given their uniform (shirt, cap, bag, and ID) and were asked to sing the kiddie crew song. Dale didn't want to sing, of course. I had to result to threats, like taking away his DS lite and no PC time, to no avail.

Their first day was no different. He still didn't want to sing. Although when it was their turn to go on the floor, he said "Mom, now this is more like it!" The boys were first assigned to clean tables, greet customers and assist them (bring their food to their tables) and the girls were assigned to take orders.

A foreigner gave Tony a tip, but the McDonald's staff-in-charge saw it and made Anton return it. But then another foreigner gave another boy a huge tip and he was persistent to give it to the boy, so they couldn't stop it from there... but then it was the boys' turn on the counter, so it was the girls who got most of the tips. haha!

See photos here. Video here.

They were given free spaghetti and drinks afterwards.

Today (2nd day), they were all assigned inside. Dale (I think because he was the tallest and oldest) was assigned to cook fries. Tony was taking and fixing orders. You can see from the video that Dale did well. The manager was happy about his performance. He danced a little even after getting a little burn on his finger.

When Dale was relieved of fries duty, a girl was asked to replace him but the crew said she gave up coz it was too hot and that the basket was heavy. Dale and Tony had a little fight coz we think Tony got a little jealous of Dale getting all the attention.

I then talked to the staff and told her if the two can be separated tomorrow, so that Dale won't mistakenly "steal" Tony's glory. hahaha. That was also the time I told them about Dale's little "problem." Everything turned out well!

Dale proved to be focused on the job, but needs to practice more on communication. Tomorrow will be their last day on the floor. Thursday will be their art workshop, and on Friday is their mini graduation at the branch. On May 28, there will be a grand graduation at the World Trade Center with the other Kiddie crew members around the metro.

See how they will dance on their graduation!

Thanks in advance to all the managers and staff of McDonald's Glorietta for their kindness and support! Everyone was helpful and encouraging. I wish we started doing this since Ate Anea so all of them had the chance to be part of your team. God bless you all.

Bright Steps SPED Learning Center

2011-03-29T14:10:00.000+08:00

Bright Steps SPED Learning Center
1603 A. Mendoza St., Barangay Carmona Makati City
Tel. No. 9757295 / 09178010811
www.Brightstepslc.multiply.com
brightstepslc@gmail.com
--
Teacher Tonette Martinez
09178010811

My Little Butterfly Children’s Learning and Therapy Center

2011-02-07T14:40:00.001+08:00

My Little Butterfly Children’s Learning and Therapy Center

67 Regalado Avenue , Fairview , Q.C.

Tel. No. 9393400

Ms. Deth Brabante

ADM Asst.

Speciabilities Development Center

2011-02-07T14:39:00.001+08:00

Speciabilities Development Center
11 Binmaka St. (near Biak na Bato St.)
Manresa, Quezon City
1115 Philippines
Tel. Nos. (632) 361-9178 or 364-3460
www.speciabilities.com

email: speciabilities@yahoo.com

Thank you very much!

Teacher Ting V. Patriarca

School Directress

Anguish, Love, and Learning

2011-01-19T10:11:00.000+08:00

Thank you for everyone who supported me and Dale during the past couple of days. I am not going to lie and tell you that I am okay now with everything. My heart bleeds still. I've gone two days without sleep, and I became deeply depressed. I realized this was not an ordinary case. This was a case of discrimination.

It was my decision to transfer my children to my alma mater. The reasons were one, because it was nearer; and two, because I wanted them to be accustomed to a big school. Now, I realized I made the wrong decision.

It is too late now to transfer them again, and I don't want them to be strongly affected by all of these. A lot of you have informed and advised me to go to court with it. Some said to go to PAASCU and report the school and have their accreditation stripped.

Thank you.

But, I think that the best way to get back our dignity is to inform people, as many as we can, about the issue of autism and discrimination.

Dale was diagnosed as having autism at age 3. He was non-verbal at first, but he eventually started talking when his younger brother also started talking to him, making him our first therapist. We enrolled Dale in the early intervention program of Pasay City SPED Center, where he stayed for 4 years. During those times, he excelled intellectually and was even featured in the docufilm "Alyana" (by MiranaMedina; http://advocacine.wordpress.com).

He graduated from SPED with honors and was accepted as Grade 1 (fully included) at San Isidro Catholic School. Of course, being a child with special needs, there were minor problems that arose, but due to his intellect and easy grasp of things, we have never been called in for anything major.

During those years, he learned he was different from other children and he eventually accepted that he needed help. He was quick to accept faults and even quicker to forgive.

When he entered his recent school, he was placed in the "star" section (based on his grades and his entrance test results) and from day 1 we have encountered problems with them (see http://arolfdelano.multiply.com/journal/item/81/A_New_Beginning). During that year, we have had minimal problems with Dale and his teachers.

When he entered Grade 5, it was then a different story. During the first conference with his teachers, they even told me they were not sure how Dale passed Grade 4.

Now that this happened (http://www.facebook.com/notes/reich-delos-santos-santos/untitled/486215821253), I am not sure of what to do anymore. All I know is that not everything is about me, nor Dale. I have to think of my other two children who can survive in that school. Making a legal move can affect not only Dale, but them as well. And I wouldn't want that.

All I know is what the school did was wrong. They accepted my son knowing who he is. They have the responsibility not only to him, but to us parents and the whole community. The principal also told me that "yung iba nga pong teachers, pinapabayaan na lang nila si "Dale" for the benefit of the other students." Meaning, my son is being neglected as well.

His counselor told me, there were children who were worse than Dale. Others, were "normal." I'm not sure what's so "special" about Dale that they do not want him there.

I told Dale the truth. When he heard it, he smiled a little (the prospect of not going to school is tempting to every student), but his face slowly changed into a frown when he realized what I was saying. He said "You mean, they think that I'm gonna ruin everything when I'm there?" How do you answer that?

You may also ask me, how could I have had the heart to tell him the truth?

I love my son. That, I think, is obvious. I have done everything I could for him. I have shielded him to the best of my ability from things that might hurt him. But he is getting older. I believe that he needs to develop a deeper sense of understanding of how cruel the society we live in is sometimes, because if not, he will always be taken advantage of. I will not live forever, and I cannot stand up for him all the time. Getting sick made me realize how short life is.

I am not stupid. I graduated high school from that school, as well. I finished college with honors. I got my teaching license after pursuing a teaching certificate. I am now 6 units, a practicum and a thesis short of an M.A. degree in Education. I write for an international autism community website. And most importantly, I am the daughter of brilliant parents, both coming from clans that cannot be reckoned with. I cannot understand how they had the audacity to even suggest such a horrendous and inhumane act, and thinking they can get away with it.

Let this be a lesson to all teachers, because it was for me. Be reminded of what we have sworn into.

Section 2. A teacher shall recognize that the interest and welfare of learners are of first and foremost concern, and shall deal justifiably and impartially with each of them.
Section 3. Under no circumstance shall a teacher be prejudiced or discriminate against a learner.

If you do not have the heart and compassion for ALL students, don't teach! This was said to be the noblest profession. Let us not tarnish the reputation of the teachers who are dedicated to their profession. Let us not be stagnant and be still. Teachers should also learn.

The prevalence of autism in 2009 was estimated to have reached 1:91 children. This just means that more and more children with special needs will come into your classrooms. Be proactive and learn how to manage and handle them. They are no different from any other children, except that they need more understanding and patience--two traits that should be inherent in every educator.

You do not even have to enroll in special courses. Google it!

Lastly, let us be responsible in making other people aware of this rising condition. People do not care, because they do not know. People do not care, because they do not have a "Dale." Ask yourself, if Dale was your son, would you do the same thing?

Please start by reading an article from the Inquirer. This gave me hope today. http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/learning/view/20110116-314873/Engaging_Gabriel

We are currently celebrating National Autism Consciousness Week. See the Autism Society Philippines website -- http://autismsocietyphilippines.blogspot.com/2010/12/15th-national-autism-consciousness-week.html

For more information about Dale's journey, please go to http://possibilities1217.blogspot.com

Please be an angel by spreading the word.

Again, my sincerest gratitude to everybody. Hugs from Dale. God bless you.

Untitled (due to too much pain)

2011-01-17T11:53:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, you realize that there really is no easy way for a child with autism. There will always be someone, or some organization that will put him down.

I just came from the Principal's office where my son, Dale (12), is now enrolled as Grade 5 (included). When I received a call from his adviser that the Principal wanted to talk to me, and it was about Dale and the upcoming "accreditation" visit (24th and 25th), my mind went into overdrive and it started speculating on its own.

There was only one thought that came into my mind. That they would want Dale to not come to school on the said dates. I was constructing words and answers that I will say to the Principal if that was the case.

Whatever those words were, it all disappeared when I actually heard what they wanted to say. I was right.

I was dumbfounded. I was hurt. I was moved to tears.

These people had the nerve to tell me that maybe Dale should stay at home. I stopped to breathe, looked away to control my anger, and asked her why. She said that it was the suggestion of the teachers, Dale is difficult to handle, that they will be observed in all aspects, etc.

There is a second option, that is, during the times that the teacher cannot handle Dale, he will be brought to the Guidance office.

So, having him stay at home was the first option?

I was shaking with rage, but I controlled myself. As an educator myself, I was trying to put myself in the shoes of those teachers. I tried my best to understand their situation.

I gave the Principal a third option. I said maybe his guidance counselor can shadow. She said that it was one of the options. My mind was, like, questioning their decisions. One of the options? Because from my point of view, and I think from every person involved with a special child will say, that was the BEST option.

I told her, if your teachers cannot control one child, I don't think that you deserve the accreditation. I also asked her, would Dale ruin their chances for accreditation? She said no. Then, I don't see any reason for them to fret and decide like this. It's awful.

I hate to say this, but I think the Principal is not fit to be one. This issue should be handled differently. The message should have been worded carefully. Every action should have been thought over and over. Pros and cons should have been considered before they acted.

They did not even think of the repercussions of their decisions? On this day and age of computers and online communities? I am not trying to besmirch their "good" name, that is why I have not included it in this post. However, things like this cannot be helped. If you throw a pebble in the water, ripples will form. I have also thought about the repercussions of this post, and it also cannot be helped. I am a mother. I was hurt and I have the right to voice my opinion just like they did.

Before I left, I told her that we stick to the decision that Dale will come to school on those dates. I use the word we, I said, because this does not just concern me. This concerns the whole family. And not just my family, but the whole autism community. But I also told her, that on my part, I will "condition" Dale so that during those dates, he will indeed behave.

When Dale arrived, I talked to him, he said "But I do behave when there are visitors! Of course, I have to because they are important people!"

I talked to his guidance counselor on the phone, and expressed my concerns. She was very apologetic, very helpful and open to suggestions and views. She also said that Dale does behave during observations last year. So, I left the issue with her. I also apologized for the additional work, and I expressed that I do understand where they were coming from, but they should also understand us first and foremost. This was not just any school after all. We pay them 50K a year for every child, and we have three in their care.

As Dale's younger brother said when asked if their decision was correct: "No, because we all have the right to education."

My Teddy Bear

2010-11-12T21:24:00.002+08:00

My professor asked us to do a reaction on this, and still I couldn't think of not including Dale in it.

THREE LETTERS FROM TEDDY

If ever a moral lesson was asked of me about this piece, they are compassion and perseverance -- two traits that any teacher should have to reach the ultimate potential of every student.

I wanted to become a teacher since I was young; however, I wasted my time when I grew up. I lost a clear goal and went on to a different path. I was not happy. I eventually became a teacher, a little too late, but still with perseverance, I have managed it.

Along the way, God gave me three wonderful children, one of whom he wrapped in special gold paper and labeled it with “handle with care.” When he turned two, I learned why. He was diagnosed as having autism. I dropped everything and concentrated on making him better. When he did get better, I returned my attention to teaching. There were obstacles along the way like getting sick, but eventually I also got well.

I had the chance to teach for a year in a classroom setting. There I learned compassion. I found out that no two children were alike and that some children need more attention than others. I am also not a hypocrite to say that I didn’t have favorites, because I did. =)

However, God gave me another trial and made me sick again. It did not stop me from continuing my education. I still am praying for healing so I can teach again; if not as a preschool teacher, then as a college professor. Now, even though I do not teach in a classroom setting, I get to teach my children still, especially my son.

So, here I am. Unlike Miss Thompson, I didn’t have a Teddy in my previous classroom, but I have a Teddy Bear forever in my heart. He is now sitting beside me, asking me how I can finish my “homework” if I keep on checking my tweets.

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.” -- Walter Elliott

A first

2010-11-06T18:34:00.004+08:00

Dale attended his first Night Dance last night. He said he enjoyed himself, but he wanted to go home early because he used up all his "moves," which he also demonstrated to me. He also said, almost all the girls wanted to dance with him. Haha!

Here he is now, at 11 (going 12 on December 17)--

Anyway, he and Anton (his bro) was soaked with sweat when they got home. Anton told me to make them bring extra shirts next time. I told him as this was a first for me, I didn't know exactly what they needed to bring. =)

The second Night Dance will be on February. I'm hoping that Dale will enjoy it better than last night.

rethinkautism.com

2010-11-06T17:39:00.000+08:00

Hi Reich,

How’s Dale doing? I see that you haven’t posted in a while, but I just came across your blog, and I wondered if you would like to post something about a short video series our company just produced for Autism Awareness Month as a part of our Weekly Tips Series.

In the first video, our therapists highlight some key early signs of autism that parents can look for while showing video examples. The next three videos feature a single mother, Trina Mcfield and her twin sons, one of which was diagnosed with autism.

The videos are contained within a popup on our website http:www.rethinkautism.com and I hope you take a look and help spread the word for Autism Awareness Month!

Thanks!

Kent Kincannon
Production Manger
Rethinkautism.com

MILESTONES Child Development Clinic

2010-11-06T17:37:00.001+08:00

hi,

I'm an occupational therapist and just opened a clinic in Iloilo. I hope you can include my clinic's contact details on your list.

MILESTONES

Child Development Clinic

2nd floor, Lopez Arcade

E. Lopez St., Jaro, Iloilo City

033 857 74 00 / 0918 531 67 05

Thank you so much.

--
Luchie

THERATALK SPEECH AND OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY CENTER

2010-11-06T17:36:00.001+08:00

We are THERATALK SPEECH AND OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY CENTER located at #20 P. Javier St. Poblacion Plaridel Bulacan. Around 5-10 minutes away from Waltermart Plaridel. Our contact details are as follows: landline (044) 795 3608 and mobile 09272844561. You may call our secretary regarding the scheduling.

We currently provide speech and language therapy and occupational therapy in individual, pairs and small groups as recommended by our therapists.

We are hoping to be added on your list of clinics.

Thank you so much!!

Little C.A.M.P. Clinic

2010-11-06T17:35:00.001+08:00

Hi! Thank you for including us in your list of therapy centers in metro manila. Here is our updated list of contact details for your reference:

Little C.A.M.P. Clinic
(Children's Allied Medical Partners)
204-C Ilocos Sur St. Bago Bantay Quezon City

0917-5463883 / 0927-2284098 / 0919-4082011
littlecampclinic@yahoo.com

Thanks so much and more power!

Let’s Talk and Learn Therapy Center

2010-11-06T17:34:00.001+08:00

Good day! We would like to be included in your list of therapy centers in Metro Manila.

We recently opened Let's Talk and Learn Therapy Center in E. Rodriguez, Quezon City last July 2010.

The following are our contact details:

Let’s Talk and Learn Therapy Center

705 Heinz Road Le Mariche Residences, E. Rodriguez Avenue, Quezon City

412-6937, 412-6936, 0915-3518208

letstalkandlearn@gmail.com

We specialize in:

Speech and Language Therapy

Occupational Therapy,

Physical Therapy

SPED tutorial services

Thank you very much.

Best regards,

Aira Kristina M. Basmayor, CSP-PASP

Clinic Director

Bright Beginnings Therapy Center

2010-11-06T17:32:00.000+08:00

We provide Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Speech & Language Therapy, and SpEd Tutorials to differently-abled children.Here are our contact details:

Bright Beginnings Therapy Center

Unit-6 DSS Bldg. Sumulong Highway

Sto. Nino, Marikina City 1800

Tel #: (02)-3939397

Mobile: 0917-5629397

Email: brightbeginnings.tc@gmail.com

Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/brightbeginningstherapycenter

Contact Person: Genelyn Mae P. Sadol, PTRP, RPT

Famous People on the Spectrum

2010-08-17T15:27:00.002+08:00

CREDITS: http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com/famous-people-with-autism.html

Below is a list of famous people with autism, some with unspecified forms, high-functioning, autistic savants and severe autism.

Famous people with unspecified forms of autism

The following people have been diagnosed as being somewhere on the autistic spectrum but the specific classification is unknown.

Daryl Hannah, an American actress best known for her roles in Splash, Blade Runner and Kill Bill was diagnosed as a child as being 'borderline autistic'
Christopher Knowles, American poet
Matthew Laborteaux, actor on Little House on the Prairie
Katherine McCarron, autistic child allegedly murdered at the age of three by her mother, Karen McCarron.
Jason McElwain, high school basketball player
Michael Moon, adopted son of author Elizabeth Moon
Jasmine O'Neill, author of Through the Eyes of Aliens
Sue Rubin, subject of documentary Autism Is a World. Sue Rubin has no oral speech but does communicate with facilitated communication.
Birger Sellin, author from Germany,
Robert Gagno, actor from Vancouver,

Famous people with Asperger syndrome

Dan Aykroyd, comedian and actor: Aykroyd stated he has Asperger's, but some feel he was joking.
Richard Borcherds, mathematician specializing in group theory and Lie algebras
William Cottrell, student who was sentenced to eight years in jail for fire-bombing SUV dealerships
Craig Nicholls, frontman of the band The Vines
Gary Numan, British singer and songwriter
Dawn Prince-Hughes, PhD, primate anthropologist, ethologist, and author of Songs for the Gorilla Nation
Judy Singer, Australian disability rights activist
Vernon L. Smith, Nobel Laureate in Economics
Satoshi Tajiri, creator of Pokémon
Daniel Tammet, British autistic savant, believed to have Asperger Syndrome
Liane Holliday Willey, author of Pretending to be Normal, Asperger Syndrome in the Family; Asperger syndrome advocate; education professor; and adult diagnosed with Asperger syndrome at age 35

People with high-functioning autism

Michelle Dawson, autism researcher and autism rights activist who has made ethical challenges to Applied Behavior Analysis
Temple Grandin, a designer of humane food animal handling systems.
Hikari Oe, Japanese composer
Bhumi Jensen, Thai prince, grandson of King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand; killed by drowning in the tsunami caused by the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake
Dylan Scott Pierce, wildlife illustrator
Jim Sinclair, autism rights activist
Donna Williams, Australian author of Nobody Nowhere and Somebody Somewhere; after testing for deafness in late childhood, and being labelled 'disturbed', Donna was formally diagnosed as autistic in her 20s
Stephen Wiltshire, British architectural artist
Axel Brauns, German author of the autobiographical bestseller Buntschatten und Fledermäuse and filmmaker

Famous autistic savants

Alonzo Clemons, American clay sculptor
Tony DeBlois, blind American musician
Leslie Lemke, blind American musician
Jonathan Lerman, American artist
Thristan Mendoza, Filipino marimba prodigy
Jerry Newport is an author, savant, and has Asperger's. His wife, Mary Newport, is also a savant on the autistic spectrum
Derek Paravicini, blind British musician
James Henry Pullen, gifted British carpenter
Matt Savage, U.S. autistic jazz prodigy
Henriett Seth-F., Hungarian autistic savant, poet, writer and artist

People with severe autism

Tito Mukhopadhyay, author, poet and philosopher

Diagnosis: Not a ‘spoiled brat’

2010-08-17T15:25:00.000+08:00

Diagnosis: Not a ‘spoiled brat’

Help at last for the Aspergirls

2010-08-17T15:23:00.000+08:00

Help at last for the Aspergirls

Parents of Boy With Autism Map Out His Future as an Adult

2010-08-17T15:20:00.000+08:00

Parents of Boy With Autism Map Out His Future as an Adult

Parents Of Grown Offspring With Autism More Likely To Split Up

2010-08-17T14:53:00.000+08:00

Parents Of Grown Offspring With Autism More Likely To Split Up

The parents of grown children with autism are more likely to divorce than couples with typically developing children, according to new data from a large longitudinal study of families of adolescents and adults with autism.

The study, published in the August issue of the Journal of Family Psychology by researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Madison's Waisman Center, paints a new picture of the prospects of long-term marital success for parents raising a child with autism.

The study is the first to track marital history of parents of adult children with autism. It reveals that, in contrast to previous assumptions, parents do not have a greater risk of divorce when their son or daughter with autism is young. However, as the child with autism grows into adolescence and adulthood, parents are more likely to divorce than are parents of typically developing children. Although findings reveal diminished prospects for a lasting marriage for parents raising a child with autism, the majority of marriages in this study survived.

The study compared the marital fates of 391 couples - the parents of adolescent and adult children with autism - to a sample drawn from another large longitudinal study, the National Survey of Midlife in the United States (MIDUS). The goal of the study was to document the rate and timing of divorce of parents of children with autism, explains Sigan Hartley, a UW-Madison assistant professor of human development and family studies and lead author of the report.

The study revealed that the divorce rate for parents of children with autism mirrors the divorce rate of the parents of children without disabilities until the child reaches 8 years of age. After that, the divorce rate goes down for parents of children without disabilities but remains high for parents of children with autism.

"There seems to be a prolonged vulnerability for divorce in parents of children with autism," says Hartley. "Typically, if couples can survive the early child-rearing years, parenting demands decrease and there is often less strain on the marriage. However, parents of children with autism often continue to live with and experience high parenting demands into their child's adulthood, and thus marital strain may remain high in these later years."

Autism, also known as autism spectrum disorder or ASD, has symptoms that vary considerably in severity between individuals, but core characteristics of the disorder include difficulty establishing and maintaining social relationships, delayed communication skills, and repetitive motions such as rocking back and forth and hand flapping. Children with autism frequently require high levels of care and continue to live with parents as adults.

"There is a lifelong profile of challenging behaviors and symptoms associated with autism," Hartley notes. "Few developmental disabilities appear to be more taxing on parents and there is a great need for support services for families when the child is an adolescent and adult. Providing support for couples to help them work on their marriages is an obvious step. If we can get information and support to these families, we hope to be able to support lasting marriages."

The new study compares data from two large longitudinal studies, the Adolescents and Adults with Autism Study, directed by Marsha Mailick Seltzer, a UW-Madison professor of social work and director of the Waisman Center, and MIDUS, directed by UW-Madison psychology professor Carol Ryff. Both studies are funded by the U.S. National Institutes of Health.

Source: University of Wisconsin-Madison

Lack Of Evidence To Support Use Of Antidepressants For Autism

2010-08-17T14:51:00.000+08:00

Lack Of Evidence To Support Use Of Antidepressants For Autism

New Brain Scan Diagnoses Autism In Adults

2010-08-17T14:50:00.000+08:00

New Brain Scan Diagnoses Autism In Adults

Robots To Help Children With Autism

2010-08-17T14:49:00.000+08:00

Robots To Help Children With Autism

understanding death

2010-08-04T18:42:00.000+08:00

Death is no laughing matter. It is only but normal for us to feel sad and cry when someone we know and love passes away.

My uncle died yesterday. Mom was out, and we couldn't find a way to tell her. We wanted her to know not when she's outside, but surrounded by us. I was the one who uttered the words that I knew would make her cry. I had nothing else to say. I cannot tell her to stop crying. I cannot say that everything will be alright. I cannot say that her brother's death was for the better. Selfish as I am, death is not something I can look and shrug at. I cannot think of anything positive about losing someone you care about.

All the time that Mom was crying, I was looking at Dale playing with my iPhone. He glanced back and forth at us. I knew he was a little confused. He does not like death, either. He cannot stand TV shows that shows cruelty, pain, and loss. He cries, shouts, hands on his ears, and runs to another room.

He then came to me and said "It's annoying. Make her stop. Why is she crying? He's just her brother!"

I had to hide my shock. My head was spinning with this new revelation.

Could it be that my son cannot feel remorse or sadness over this? Or did he just say that because he did not want his grandmother to feel this amount of pain?

During dinner, Mom told him about my uncle. Dale told her "Uh... let's stop. You might cry again."

This morning I asked him if he feels sad that my uncle died. He said "Uh... I really don't know him that well."

Then I asked, if ever I die, will he cry? He said "Of course, I will cry. But remember, Mama is still here." Meaning, he will still have someone else with him.

I asked him, what if we lose his brother or sister. He said "Um... I don't know. Sometimes, they are good to me, and sometimes they are not."

Death is plain and simple to Dale. There are no whos or whys. I do not know if it is good or bad. I do not know if I should be glad that he seems to be oblivious.

All I know is that I wish I'm still there for him when he suddenly understands death like the rest of us.

Teacher dad

2010-07-30T20:07:00.000+08:00

Link

In celebrating Dale's freedom from the norm

2010-07-30T17:59:00.000+08:00

Dale is turning 12 this December. He knows his condition, but does not dwell on it.

I, on the other hand, cannot take anything lightly. Not when it involves him. You might call me an over-reacting sensitive person. But, I am really, just a person. I have feelings, and I doubt that Dale does not have them as well.

So when a research paper on Genetic Abnormalities was asked of him. He submitted it to his teacher with one question. He asked, "Am I abnormal?"

I was shocked that according to him, his teacher "kinda said yes." I could see in his eyes that he was confused, that he was assessing my reaction. His eyes fleeted. His first answer was a definite "yes," but I asked him "what?" and he might have thought that I would get mad, and added "kinda."

I asked my eldest if it was right for the teacher to have said so. She shook her head.

I actually did not feel too much anger. I felt pity. For my son to have heard that. I would have wanted to be there, to actually hear what and how the teacher answered my son. I might have understood better.

Someone I shared a twitter conversation with said "When I hear "abnormal", I look at the world and think "if this is normal, I don't want any part of it!" Abnormal is to be celebrated."

It might be true, but not when you come from a country like mine. Abnormal here is like having a deadly disease that can be caught from a sneeze.

Sitting on the bus alone during the class field trip, for example. That was what Dale has gone through two days ago. Being dragged fiercely by the collar by his classmate while she was trying to talk to him was another scene I saw when I fetched him from school. Etc.

It's not enough that he gets bullied in school, his brother also makes fun of him and such, at home. He's "abnormal" and he's being bullied. He's "abnormal" and his brother is jealous of him.

What is there to celebrate about?

I am not celebrating the things that might eventually hurt Dale, if he actually.. finally understood the world he lives in.

A world where parents murder their children because they want normal kids. A country where persons with disabilities are shunned, and denied of their rights.

But then again... maybe, I do have to celebrate. I have to celebrate that until now, he doesn't have a clue. That it is a cruel world we live in... and he's lucky not to fully realize yet that he's part of it. A vicious cycle. A sick-cycle carousel.

As I've mentioned before when I watched an episode of House who handled a case of a child with autism, he said:

"See, skinny socially-privileged white people get to draw this neat little circle. Everyone inside this circle is normal. Anyone outside the circle should be beaten, broken, & reset, so they are brought in to the circle. Failing that you should be institutionalized, or worse, pitied."

"So, it's wrong to feel sorry for this little boy?"

"Why would you feel sorry for someone who gets opt-out of the inane courteous formalities which are utterly meaningless, insincere, and therefore degrading? This kid doesn't have to pretend to be interested in your back pain or your excretion or your grandmother's itchy place. Imagine how liberating to live a life free of all the mind-numbing social niceties. I don't pity this kid, I envy him."

You know what I think, though? Dale is not the one who's "abnormal."

We are.

(Hoozah! I'll go get the beers.)

Primary Intervention and Individualized Education Clinic for Exceptional Students

2010-01-17T20:54:00.001+08:00

NEW at Cainta, Rizal

P. I. E. C. E. S.
Primary Intervention and Individualized Education Clinic for Exceptional Students

Lot 6 Block 5A Grayville St. Serra Monte Mansions Filinvest East
Cainta, Rizal

7107249
09219810379
pieces.clinic@gmail.com

Create and Discover Integrated School

2009-09-12T17:23:00.000+08:00

The CDIS-CCSN is an academic institution known for its credible and truthful evaluation of its students’ behaviour and performance in the school. It has provided a competent teaching staff and a conducive environment which attends to the growing demands of early learners.

Create and Discover Integrated School or CDIS is a progressive pre-school which values the uniqueness of the child and their individual desires to learn. Over the years, it has produced graduates who have been accepted in reputable schools here in Metro Manila. It is also worth mentioning that a large portion of our pre-school graduates have consistently topped their classes. We are deeply inspired and committed to continue this quality formation of children enrolled in CDIS this year and in the years to come.

Centre for Children with Special Needs or CCSN is a clinical and educational institution which caters to the specific individual needs of children with different exceptionalities. These include children with communication, behavioural, social, cognitive and physical differences. It is a multi-disciplinary centre which includes several professionals, licensed therapists and teachers, working together toward a common goal, and that is, to further your child’s skills and maximize his potentials to achieve further independence.

Lot 3 Block 50 Burney Street Fairmont Subdivision North Fairview QC
(02) 418-2046
Email : cdis_ccsn@yahoo.ca

I'm a Coward.

2009-09-02T17:37:00.000+08:00

It has been known that Dale has been afraid of a handful of things. The rain was the first which surfaced. Until now, when it rains, I always think if Dale is doing okay in school. I have been worried for almost seven years now. I cannot help worrying over him, especially when I am not with him.

That is, until today.

When we were about to watch the Dolphin show at Ocean Adventure (Subic), one of the coordinators approached us and asked if we were willing to let Dale be a volunteer for the Dolphin Encounter portion. Of course, I have to ask Dale first. He thought for a moment and said yes. I told the coordinator that we'll give it a try.

I was worried about the ramp where he is going to walk on because it's just some sort of a float. But he walked slowly but bravely, and told us he can do it. I caught him on video practicing the moves he would have to make. Still, I cannot help worrying. You can hear me saying his name on video, worried that he might go over the fence, spinning like he was. I went back to my seat, because I'm not allowed to be with him, and then waited, wishing that everything will be fine.

Then, as if God was making fun of me.... it rained.

I ran back to the holding deck and told the coordinator that Dale was scared of the rain, so if she can please let me in, and that if she can find someone else.

And then I thought, maybe this is not God making fun of me, but God pushing Dale to go further showing him that there is nothing to be afraid of.

I then told her to talk to Dale first if he's willing to get wet in the rain. She came back with a smile and said that Dale thought for a moment and said yes.

With more than a hundred people about to watch my son... they started watching me as I prayed. I said, please do not make it harder for him than it already is.... watching the other side of the sky... seeing the rain falling harder there... about to come to us still...

He came on the ramp without a care.

He went almost on the edge possibly without fear.

He touched the dolphin with careful hands.

He snapped his hand back when they said he could touch the dolphin's tongue.

He made them dance. He made them dive.

All of these he did without me by his side.

At that moment, it felt like God was laughing in the heavens and telling me... "See? There really was nothing to be afraid of."

Because at that moment, I realized, I was the one who was scared.

Dale was there to make me brave, because he already is.

Update

2008-11-04T18:55:00.000+08:00

Dale developed a fever yesterday, highest was 39. The doctor said it might be because of the leg, or it might be because of something else, since he's been sneezing, too. He was prescribed an antibiotic (na pagkamahal-mahal!).

His leg is doing better, btw.

so, i went to the guidance office yesterday, but before that I already called them to set an appointment. the one who answered asked me what it was about, and I said it was kinda serious, that I wanted to see THE guidance counselor, and that Dale was in the hospital (i didn't say doctor's clinic) because of a classmate.

before I got there, of course, the buzz was already going on. the adviser was so nervous that she already talked to the other teachers, coz apparently, NOBODY knows what's been going on. All the teachers suspected Karl, though, coz he's been bullying daw Dale lagi. (It's Clyde who was doing the karate chops on him.)

when you go to school to pick up Dale, you'll notice that almost everyone calls his name. and Dale doesn't respond to it. i knew why when I talked to him. He said, it's irritating!

of course, it does! who wouldn't be irritated? kahit tayong mga "normal" people, maiirita.

so, I told them to talk to the whole class, and other classes as well, to stop it. Dale is special enough for him to realize it, as well.

My children are well-known sa school nila, because of Dale and my daughter, Anea, who's always at the top of her class. My bunso, Tony, gets attention, too, because of them. And since they all speak in English (Anea and Tony can speak Tagalog), they really can stand out among native-speakers. Lalo na kapag naguusap na silang magkakapatid. They can't help it, coz Dale wouldn't understand them if they don't, so it just comes naturally. And this is one point that the teachers and counselors gave me as a reason why Dale gets a lot of attention.

Well, that's swell! Pano na lang yun, eh ganun na talaga si Dale since he learned how to talk? *sigh*

when I told them about the fighting and tripping incident, they assured me that it will be dealt with accordingly. they all flipped when they learned that the tripping was done by two grade one girl students. syempre nga naman, ano namang connection nila kay Dale.

No, I did not freak out or tell them off like a non-educated mother. As a "teacher" as well, I understand the difficulty of the situation. I know that the teachers are doing their best naman. Considering the fact that it is a regular school and that they are not really educated in handling special children.

I also requested that the mothers of those children be notified about it, and they said that's the protocol naman. They will notify me of the developments within the week.

Hay. Wish ko lang di na maulit. *hehe*

Dale's little accident, and his classmate's soon-to-be big accident. (joke!)

2008-10-12T19:53:00.000+08:00

Dale is special.

He talks a little faster than most kids.
He is afraid of the dark.
He is scared of the rain.
He hates trees.
He stares at nothing when boredom strikes.
He hums.

He tells me that his brain works differently.

Dale is special.

And I won't have him any other way.

I just wish that other people accepts him the way I do.

Dale woke up yesterday, and couldn't stand up straight. Couldn't walk properly. I saw his left knee was a little bigger than the other one. When I asked him, he said he didn't know what happened.

Tonight, it's still the same. My Mom will take him to the doctor tomorrow to have it checked.

I asked him again what happened to it. He then said:

"Can we talk in private?"

Jaw-dropped, I carried him to the other room so we can talk "in private."

He said that everyday, his classmate, a certain Clyde fights him (karate) during the assembly.

What he said made my blood boil. I asked him what exactly did this Clyde do to him. He became confused and irritated and said he doesn't remember exactly what happens everyday, but since Clyde attacks him, he has to block it.

I asked him if it hurts, the way Clyde attacks him, he said yes. He also mentioned two other boys who bullies him, and two girls from another section, who tripped him twice during recess, and almost made him drop his food.

Yes, Clyde is just a kid, but it doesn't stop me from being angry. Today, it might just be a sprained knee, but what about tomorrow then? Will I wait for him to have his neck broken?

I am freaking angry. Not just with him, or with their teacher, or with everybody at school. I am angry at everything. At Dale's situation. At the unfairness of it all.

When will it all stop?

I'm going to school tomorrow, and I wish that I can control my temper. But, by God, I will all make them sorry they ever messed with my son.

I do teach my children to fight for themselves. Not "fight" fight. But to stand up. Be taken seriously. "No" means no. But obviously, Dale cannot do it yet. So, I have to do it for him.

He told me not to get angry tomorrow. He is afraid that it will cause the bullies to bully him even more.

As I was helping him walk to the room, I told him:

"Get just one hair from those idiots, and i'll make them pa-barang."

He laughed. I said, "what's so funny? I mean it."

"Oh, Mom. You just say it funny."

As if he knew what barang meant. Haha.

No, of course, I didn't mean it. I don't know anyone who knows how to kasi. *laughing maniacally*

first day high

2008-06-10T00:26:00.000+08:00

Hay... today was the first day of school. I was getting a little apprehensive days before, thinking what could go wrong today. Especially since I cannot come with him. I asked my sister-in-law to accompany my kids to school.

After an hour or two, she texted me that Dale doesn't want to go inside the classroom. Just for one reason--he's been transfered to another section.

Their school has this 'policy' that your section from Grade One will still be your section until you graduate. He was in St. Dominic for 2 years already. But the old section was dissolved. So, he's now in St. Matthew.

The guidance counsellor took an hour to convince him to go to class.

When he got home, I asked him what happened. He smiled at me, and told me that he even asked his teacher (Ms. Celedio) to take down the sign, and replace it with St. Dominic. Haha.

But he promised he will go to the room tomorrow without any problems. He even showed me his diary where he wrote his daily schedule and some reminders, in cursive, no less. He needs to practice writing in cursive now. His teachers forgave him for not doing so in Grade 2, but not this year.

I'm praying that there will be no problems tomorrow or the next, and if there were, I pray for strength, and I pray that Dale can overcome everything.

April 10

2008-04-09T20:20:00.000+08:00

Since we have insurance already, i brought Dale and Tony to the dentist to have their teeth cleened. Here is Kuya being so happy... hehe.

and a little worried.

but he didn't cry!

And here was Anton:

his gag reflex was a little active that time, but he finished the process okay.

Next time, it will be Anea's turn (one who's really scared of the dentist).

when later becomes better

2008-02-19T19:07:00.000+08:00

When Anea was just a baby and some of the kids I knew from my friends were growing, I'd be so envious at how they were talking so fluently in English. I'd marvel at their pronunciation and diction. I told myself my kids are going to be like these kids in the future.

True enough, they all did. Anea lost the consistent use of the language when she entered preparatory. She learned nicely in preschool. Dale gained it in special school and at home. Tony gained it because of Dale. Since Dale speaks and understands only English before, everyone was "obliged" to use it. We just realized our mistake when he entered Regular school.

But now, I'm pleased that Dale can understand more tagalog words. He can even try talking in Tagalog, but still, he's been experiencing difficulties, both with meaning and pronunciation. We studied Sibika today, and it took us a long time to get everything right.

Noli Me Tangere, he pronounces like "tangerine". And El Filibusterismo, as "bus" like what we ride on... and the "o" in the end is very-well pronounced. Super sleng, kumbaga. If you hear him say it, you might think it funny at first, but when he cannot pronounce it right after a number of tries, that's when you start to pity him.

He kept on saying Apolinio Manibi (Apolinario Mabini), and he just couldn't get it right. He started being annoyed and wanted to cry in frustration.

Until he just gave up and said he wanted to sleep coz he was so tired of studying. Of course, I let him sleep. We can always try again later.

Everything about Dale comes with perfect timing and consistency. I'm sure later, everything will be better.

To clarify...

2008-01-05T19:11:00.000+08:00

What i wrote earlier does not mean that i am sad about what Dale said. I wrote that as a literary piece. But, if you are going to ask me, I AM DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY. It only means one thing to me--Dale is feeling and thinking like a normal child. Like everyone else.

For the longest time, I did not think that it matters to him. And now, he brings me tears, pain, realization and discovery.

It made me cry buckets of happy tears.

Hooray for Dale!

realization and understanding....

2008-01-03T19:09:00.000+08:00

Earlier, Dale and I were lying on the bed and he began asking me questions about a very old stuffed toy I have.

"Where did Garfield come from?" he asked while he played with it.

"Daddy gave that to me when he was just my boyfriend. When we were teenagers."

What came next was never expected. Dale, my son who was diagnosed as having autism at age 3, began crying.

"That means love, mommy!" I turned around at the sound of his distressed voice.

"Yes. Why are you crying?" I asked him, surprised and concerned at the same time.

"You said Daddy gave you this when you were boyfriends. It means Daddy loves you! Then what happened? Did you love Daddy?" he asked, looking at Garfield intently.

"Yes."

"Oh. So, it's him." he said matter-of-factly as he began wiping away his tears. "Don't worry, Mommy. I will talk to Daddy."

I dare not ask him what he meant by "it's him," I felt so vulnerable, I don't even know how to react to all of it.

"And what will you tell him?" I asked curiously.

"I'll tell him to take you back." and with that, he smiled at me. A smile that will make you believe in the possibility of happy-ever-afters.

If only I can bring myself to smile back.

problems

2007-11-06T00:29:00.000+08:00

there were problems with his behavior last month. Almost everyday, there were notes from his teachers in his diary. It was heartbreaking to see. After several months of being okay in school, here we go again.

he wouldn't write on his notebooks, he only cooperates during two classes (same teacher), and since he didn't write, we didn't know he had a Math project to submit, so, 70%.

when i talked to him seriously, he said:

"coz i'm sad... and i want Papa (his lolo) to come home. Can he come home?"

he said he wanted his Papa to come and be the one to accompany him to school again. coz Papa makes him happy, and Papa knows all the cool games. He's fun!

Hay...

and then he told me something that made my blood boil. He asked me:

"Mommy, what is behavioral problem?"

I asked him where he got that. He said:

"I have it. I have behavioral problems. I read it from the school health record. I also have speech problems."

I was speechless.

"You see? That's why I talk like this... so fast... and that's why I can't listen and I stand up in class... I have problems."

I have to tell myself to breathe, before I start to explode and run to his school and demand an explanation. I have to act rationally, and calmly.

His guidance counsellor didn't know about his problems as it turned out. The teachers weren't telling him. And they talked to the nurse and adviser right away after my complaint.

Now, we all know why he is being so difficult.

As of today, he's been doing okay again. I just hope that it continues.

Working Mom July 2007 feature

2007-08-10T20:12:00.000+08:00

Around the end of March this year, I was approached by Working Mom editor Joy Rojas, asking me if they could feature me in their magazine. I knew this would happen, as Ms. Marissa Lopez said they would give my article to the publication. I thought they would just have my article printed of some sort, but it was an interview by very talented and kind Janet Villa. A photo shoot came next by Alfred Mendoza.

The interview went well. I felt like I have known Janet for a long time. In most cases, I can be a very good judge of character and I am not mistaken with Janet.

Alfred, of course, was very patient. I am a self-confessed camwhore. BUT, I do the taking. However, that time, it was a different person, and I really had a very difficult time focusing. My lips were quiverring all the time, and I just couldn't relax. Plus the fact that I thought that I would really look bad in those pictures coz I was so fat and so sick-looking. Hehe.

Anyway, a lot happened after the interview. My supposed to be happy marriage ended about a week after it. It wasn't a sad ending. There weren't nasty fights or something. I am not even sure if this is the end of it all. I am still hoping for an unbroken family. Maybe not now.

I just wanna say thanks to Janet for being subtle and not including everything I have said. God bless you and your family as well.

the influence of TV Patrol

2007-07-16T20:14:00.000+08:00

It rained today. And when it rains, Kuya gets a little scared. Now, it's just a little. Compared to before where he really cowers and such, this is great.

He took cover under a pillow, and I peaked inside.

Me: Hey.

Kuya: Hi.

Me: You scared?

Kuya: Yes.

Me: Why?

Kuya: Because the earth is gonna fill up with rain and people will drown! Just like Malabon!

Ah, okay.

of nightmares and coffee

2007-04-27T12:05:00.001+08:00

Today, right at this moment, I'm looking at my son, Dale, sleeping soundly in my bed. In his hand was a plastic toy flower. My mom gave it to him when he had a tantrum. He wanted to buy something from the store, but sadly, the stores were closed. So, in between sobs, he slept, flower in hand.

My mom went to sleep right after. She was exhausted. Oftentimes, dealing with Dale's tantrums can be physically draining, not to mention emotionally tiring. Mom couldn't stand it when Dale does something unusual, like look up at the ceiling and shake his head, or giggle for no apparent reason.

When I look at him like this, peacefully sleeping, I try to visualize what his dreams may be like. Does he dream at all? Does he have nightmares like we all do? If he does, what is it that he fears the most?

I wish he could tell me when he wakes up. I wish he can wake up in the middle of the night and cry and when I ask him he'll tell me "Mamaw!" just like his brother, Anton. But there were never moments like this.

But I'm still thankful and happy, for when he's awake he can now tell me what he wants... he points, and he whispers them to me. He looks for me now when I'm not in the room, shouting "Mommy!" while going to every room.

Two days ago, he woke up at 4:30 in the morning, he tugged at my hand, and I, thinking that he had a nightmare, told him "Ssh... what is it?", and he told me...

"Coffee?"

And then I looked at my son in the dark. I thought, I was wrong. I have to be thankful if he doesn't have nightmares.

You know what my nightmares are?

They're moments that Dale wakes up in the dark, just sitting beside me, staring at me, and not telling me what he wanted because he did not know how...

And they're moments when Dale wakes up in the middle of the night asking for coffee, but couldn't find me in the dark.

I was cleaning my files, and I saw this piece at the back of some of my papers... I'm not sure when I wrote this, years ago, i think.

I still have the same nightmares now and again.

Effective Communication and Sonia Roco

2007-04-16T13:17:00.000+08:00

I got an email from MiranaMedina about my reaction about Sonia Roco:

I forwarded your email to ASP President Dang Koe -- NAIYAK SIYA.

I forwarded it to Sonia ROco -- bumalik ang email, permanent failure daw. Siguro sa dami ng nag react sa sinabi nya, napuno na....

I forwarded it to ASP Founding President Cecile Sicam, at ito reaction nya--

"Sa totoo lang, ako I would still vote for Sonia Roco - maybe now more than ever. Why? because she's still one of the most credible people in the roster of candidates (as against the traditional politicians, jocks and celebrities who are running), because she put autism on the political map with her "innocent" comment (at least she knows what autism is) and because now that she knows us, we will have leverage for legislation in the senate (in case she gets elected). Let's turn her booboo into our advantage, right?"

Best regards to you and your Mom! and Hugs to Dale!

Ako? I stand by my decision not to vote for her. I do not know Sonia Roco. I am not judging her whole personality with just one remark on TV. I am judging her sincerity with 2 remarks she said on TV and one she wrote.

I am a graduate of Communication Arts from a respectable college. We studied Effective Communication like crazy. We watched movies and were asked to answer a lot of questions, make endless reviews and compose summaries.

"why did the white handkerchief fall?"
"what was the significance of the white dove?"
"why was it necessary for her tear to fall from her left eye and not the right?"

In the four years I have been in college, 2 years in graduate, a year in a university, 3 seasons of House, and in the 32 years that I have breathed, I learned that EVERYBODY LIES.

I watched her apology on TV, I read her letter.

She might have apologized, she might have known and could grasp a fraction of what it feels like to be one of us.

But she lied.

Her lies were written. Her lies were in her eyes. You cannot fake sincerity. Genuine sincerity is felt.

"The problem with life is that unlike movies, it doesn't have a background music. We never know how we're supposed to feel..."

When we watched her on TV, all we said after was--that's it?

When we read her apology, I noticed her ending--

If there is any way I could be of help just in case I make it to the Senate, with your support which I pray you will bless me with, please feel free to contact me anytime.

Sure, you will. With Dang's support? Goodness me, is this for real?

Let's take a moment to reflect on that.

400,000 affected families have been rallying for a more autism-friendly country. 20 years of bringing everything into perspective. Yes, there was the Magna Carta. Yes, there were special schools. Yes, there were politicians who helped us. But it's not enough. You know it's not.

Let's say you're the President. You only have a limited budget. Which sector will you prioritize?

C'mon. Let's be realistic. The government will prioritize the schooling of the 'normal' kids. You know why, don't you? Because it will cost lesser, and the reaping, sooner. Everyone likes the easy way out. They will choose to finance the kid who can be a corrupt senator sooner, than a child with Autism who can paint (and wish that he can be a dreaming, foul-mouthed, corrupt senatoriable so much later?).

When I learned that Dale has autism, and that there is nothing that this government can do to make him better, I decided to take action on my own. The first thing I did was to accept it. If you do not accept the situation, you can never help the child.

The next thing I did was go online and read. I read a lot about it, the definitions, characteristics, the journals, the experiments. Then I read the stories of other people. I read their heartaches, their triumphs, their truths. And as if reading on my own wasn't enough, I enrolled in a university.

While I was doing those, Dale was in a special school. When he gets home, I teach him what I learned.

We didn't go to therapy. We didn't follow the special diet. We just bonded as mother and son.

I am not saying that other parents have not done what I did. I know that all parents did what they could to help their children. Some were successful, others weren't. Or maybe they still were, but were not just aware of it.

My point is, I learned to choose my battles. A battle with the government is a battle with no evident outcome... just empty promises.

And I'm not going to waste my time wishing they could prove me otherwise.

"Clever is when you believe only half of what you hear. Brilliant is when you know which half to believe."

p.s.
quotations are text messages from a good friend--Basti.

I believe that it's all the more better to continue 'talking' about what Roco said NOW. All the more ASP should talk and comment. it's true that we have been 'heard'.. but it shouldn't stop there. People said that we should take this to our advantage... why aren't ASP taking it now? Sandaling media coverage lang nangyari... walang TV commentary about Alyana, about what Autism is, how many families are affected, how they can help us. Ewan ko. Sabi nga nila, 'Strike while the iron is hot.'

House, MD

2007-04-14T00:43:00.000+08:00

The first time I've known about this show was when Season 2 was over. I bought a copy of it (yes, pirated) from somewhere, and had the privilege to meet Dr. Gregory House, MD. I was not sure what to feel about him being so... arrogant. But, despite of all the arrogance and air of insensitivity, I've grown to like the doctor.

Who wouldn't? He's brilliant. And even if he doesn't admit it, he has a heart.

I especially liked the Season 3 episode, entitled Lines in the Sand, where he treated a child (Adam) with severe autism.

Here's a portion of the dialogue that got me:

"See, skinny socially-privileged white people get to draw this neat little circle. Everyone inside this circle is normal. Anyone outside the circle should be beaten, broken, & reset, so they are brought in to the circle. Failing that you should be institutionalized, or worse, pitied."

"So, it's wrong to feel sorry for this little boy?"

"Why would you feel sorry for someone who gets opt-out of the inane courteous formalities which are utterly meaningless, insincere, and therefore degrading? This kid doesn't have to pretend to be interested in your back pain or your excretion or your grandmother's itchy place. Imagine how liberating to live a life free of all the mind-numbing social niceties. I don't pity this kid, I envy him."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The previous post will remain as is, even if some people would think that it was too much... that I shouldn't judge Mrs. Roco for one wrong comment. I only read one comment about it. Others were from people who felt like me, and have known how me and my family struggled to keep Dale as 'normal' as he could possibly be.

Here are what some of my friends sent me:

you really know how to melt my heart and make me well up.

Got so inspired with what you've written, it brought me to tears ha, galing mo. Pero yeah, i agree in EVERYTHING you've said. And I felt your pain talaga. Dati I cared about things like this, but I guess I just didn't care enough, pero with everything you've said, it really hit me. I guess it made me realized that I also need to make a stand. Stand against people like her- heartless,selfish and insincere. She doesnt deserve to be part of the Senate.

Also, your joy being around Dale, it's truly inspiring and I felt it too...I felt your joys with every bit of description you've provided,hehe=)

Dale is lucky and truly blessed to have you as his mother=) Just as you're blessed to have him as your son=)

Gurl, sobra kong naiyak sa email mo about Roco and Autism. Nandito nga sa haus si roshel at binasa ko sa kanya ang email mo. Sobra ako naka relate kc ung pamangkin ko ay may down syndrome. Ganun ata talaga ang ibang tao, sobrang insensitive. Dati, nung wala pa akong pamangkin na down syndrome, madalas pag may biruan at sinasabing para kang mongoloid, natatawa din ako sa biro. Pero, nung magkaron kami ng kapamilyang mongoloid, masakit pala ang birong ganun. Kasi kung may makarinig na iba at may kapamilya silang may down syndrome nga, masakit na biro talaga un.

Yan tuloy naging serious ako. Ikaw kasi, pinaiyak mo ako...

I am not posting it here to make you believe that what I wrote was great, that I was right. This is not an editorial writing contest or something I do to make me famous. I already have my hands full with being a full-time mother. That was the only reason why I felt strongly about Mrs. Roco's blunder--I AM A MOTHER.

You see, this is an election. One false move, one stupid remark, will make or break your campaign. She said she has relatives that are special, I believe that's all the more reason why she should've kept her mouth shut.

What I've written is my opinion, it's how I felt. I didn't write it to irk anyone or to tell anyone not to vote for her. I believe that everyone's got a mind of his/her own. Go ahead and vote for her, it's not my call.

Do not get me wrong. I have forgiven her for what she said. After all, as I said, she is ignorant of how it is to have a son with autism, so she doesn't know any better.

But do not think that ONE lost vote (mine) will not ruin her chances of winning. My vote might be the only one she'll need to win this election, and I'm sorry to say, it will take more than a TV and print apology to convince me otherwise.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sometimes I think is it evil of me to want my son to be normal? He might not be able to finish school. He might not be able to get a job. He might not be able to marry and have children.

But that's the point. I keep on thinking what MIGHT not happen.

All I'm sure of now is that we love Dale... and until he cannot decide for his own, we are here to make sure he gets the best that we could offer him. He might take it or he might not. But with faith, I'm sure he will.

Sonia Roco and Autism

2007-04-13T00:22:00.000+08:00

I learned about it from our egroup at the Autism Society Philippines. To say that I was disappointed was an understatement. When I read the reaction of the running senatoriable, Mrs. Roco, my disappointment turned into fury.

I am not a follower of the election brouhaha.. even before.. i rarely watch news 'coz it makes me feel down.. all the killing, the corruption.. it's sickening to watch.

But, since I was old enough to vote, and I DO vote, I have learned to study the candidates, and how they could help our country. And I'm glad to say that the senators I have voted, have been of great help to this country.

I have been a fan of the late Senator Raul Roco, and his stand on education. I felt a little sad when he died. It was a terrible loss.

That was why I couldn't fathom why his wife would comment like that on TV. An educator, a mother, and a graduate of Ateneo, no less.

To better explain my side, you may read this post:

Dang Koe, President of Autism Society Philippines, sent this reaction to Inquirer soon after senatorial bet Sonia Roco made this comment on national television.......

"Para naman silang mga autistic...me sariling mundo".

This is what Senatorial candidate Sonia Roco said when interviewed on TV Patrol Monday evening newscast, regarding Team Unity's reaction to poll surveys on Top 12 senators. She followed her statement with a hearty laugh.

But we could not laugh with her.

Coming from a respectable Educator like Mrs. Roco, families of Filipinos with autism could not help but feel hurt by such statement, given the context when it was said. After all, we have worked so hard for the past 20 years to educate Filipinos about autism, and to remove the social stigma associated with it.

We can't help but wonder...if a poll survey is to be conducted now among the estimated 400,000 Filipino families (multiply that please with the number of family members, relatives and professional involved), what would be Mrs. Roco's ranking?

Dang Uy Koe
President
Autism Society Philippines

and this is Mrs. Roco's official statement:

April 6, 2007

Dear Ms. Dang Uy Koe

The comment was not intended to hurt you or those who have worked hard for 20 years to remove the social stigma associated with autism.

Please allow me to clarify that the statement was uttered in a context not meant to deride or demean those who are suffering from autism and the people like you who care for them.

It was simply a quick answer to the question,"what can you say about the Team Unity claiming they will make 12-0? My reply was " ano ba sila dreaming? para silang autistic, may sariling mundo."

".may sariling mundo" was what I added to my main statement. We are each living in our own individual world, while being members of a whole. That was the only reference I meant, insinuating that Team Unity is so engrossed in their own world that they shut out the realities of the community around them. The answer was directed to Team Unity and to Team Unity alone.

I am sorry. if as you have expressed, the statement hurt you and the 400,000 families you represent.

It might be of help to let you know that I had a sister who was a special child and at that time, she was called "retarded" and all those similarly situated were branded retardates. In Raul's family, his youngest sister was labelled by psychologists as "mongoloid", now termed Down's syndrome or Trisomie. Yes, I understand where you are coming from. as I hope you will understand to whom the commentary was directed to.

I appreciate your feedback. I have learned my lesson. If there is any way I could be of help just in case I make it to the Senate, with your support which I pray you will bless me with, please feel free to contact me anytime.

May this Easter bring us Peace and Understanding.

Thank you and God bless.

Yours Sincerely,
Sonia M. Roco

and after Mrs. Roco have had her say, I still couldn't get over the hurt. My son Dale, now 8, has been diagnosed as having Autism at the age of 3. At the age when we should have started to 'enjoy' him like any 'normal' kid.

Like Mrs. Roco said, she knows how it feels, having relatives who are special. And yet, that was my main point... You know, and yet you use the word "autism" as plainly as it was like a dreaded disease. And you finish off with a 'hearty laugh'?

And you said you were not directing it to the autistic community?

Now, I'm the one giving the hearty laugh.

How could you use the word 'autistic' and not direct it to the autistic community? Do you really know what 'autistic' means?

If I were to tell Mrs. Roco about how I truly feel, I would tell her this:

You do not know what it felt like to hear a diagnostician tell you that your son has Autism.

You do not know how it felt like not having enough money to bring him to therapy.

You do not know how my eyes felt heavy every night that I cried myself to sleep.

You do not know how painful it was to see people looking at your son differently.

You do not know how I turned down all opportunities for a better career so I could concentrate on getting my son all better.

You do not know how I felt when he climbs tables and high surfaces, with him, oblivious to danger.

You do not know how I felt when he couldn't tell me he wanted the cookie on top of the shelf.

You do not know how I felt when he was hospitalized over and over for infantile asthma since he was 4 months old.

You do not know how hurtful it was for me when he couldn't utter a single word at 3 years old.

You do not know how hurt I was when he couldn't even look at me even for 5 seconds.

You do not know how I cried and how I couldn't answer the doctors' questions when we rushed him to the hospital when he seized.

You do not know how many prayers I uttered while I was cradling him in the car, telling my husband to please drive faster, holding Dale firmly, shaking him a little, getting him to stop seizing.

You do not know how blurry your vision gets when you see all the doctors in the ER gravitating on your seizing son, talking in jargons you do not understand, making you scream 'what is happening to my son?!'

You do not know how loud the MRI machine gets when you're in the room with your son, with induced sleep, as the doctors were trying to look at what's wrong with his brain, and after everything, they do not find anything wrong. Not a tiny dot of anything. He just seized because HE JUST DID. Because research says that more than half of 'austistic' children have seizure disorders. You cannot cure it. You do not know when it will happen next.

You do not know how many paces I walked waiting for him to wake up from that induced sleep. TOO MANY.

You do not know how painful it was for me to try to make him drink Phenobarbital mixed in Yakult every day for 3 months.

But then...

You do not know how happy I was when he started talking.

You did not see my cry when he stopped walking on tiptoes.

You don't have a slightest idea how ecstatic I was when he started being patient.

You didn't see him when he graduated from SPED with honors.

You weren't the one who enrolled him to a regular school as Grade One FULL MAINSTREAM.

You didn't see him when he danced, when he recited a poem, when he topped the Math exam.

You weren't here when hugs me and tells me he loves me.

(and these were just a fraction of what I went through with Dale)

You are ignorant. Because you are not me. You are not us. So, don't go on national TV, or write a letter telling us that you understand. That you know how it feels. That you have relatives.

'Coz you do not have my DALE.

When I learned that you were running for Senator, I didn't need to search the internet about you. I thought, 'how bad could a mother, an educator, and a wife of the late Senator Roco be?'

I got my answer.

And you, Mrs. Roco, just lost my vote.

Alyana the repeat

2007-03-11T23:41:00.000+08:00

We were able to watch Alyana sa UP Diliman Film Center... hay... layo! kasama ko si mama, tony, at Dale... ang kukulet! pero at least we met MiranaMedina, the one who made the movie... the first part was about the deaf community... Breaking Down The Barrier yung title... naku, tawa ng tawa si Dale! Funny kasi yung first part...

Nung Alyana na, medyo naiinip na rin... when he saw himself, he covered his eyes... he also said naman that he was a moviestar na daw...

Mirana gave us a new poster with his name on it...

We weren't able to finish it coz it's too late, and it was too cold! the kids started sneezing, so we had to leave na rin before the show was over.

we took a cab na lang... it was funny pa nga, coz at first we told the cab driver that we were gonna go to Quezon Ave only... kaso tinamad na si mama bumaba, so sabi namin, Makati na lang... eh tinamad na rin, so hanggang bahay na lang kami... hehe.

International Women's Day

2007-03-06T10:42:00.000+08:00

In celebration of International Women's Day, there will be a film showing of ALYANA, a documentary film about AUTISM, on March 8, 2007, 7PM, at the UP Diliman Film Center.

Admission is FREE.

Please come and support Autism awareness.

hello.

2007-01-30T23:10:00.000+08:00

sorry about not posting for so long... i have been busy with other things... i'm moving stuff here for easier and more organized posting... check it out!

Please Watch Alyana

2006-09-01T14:36:00.000+08:00

My son, Dale, is on the film.... read about it here...

==================================

Autism Society Philippines Metro South Chapter Activity for September:

FILM SHOWING ON ALYANA - A Study of Autism in the Philippines

Schedule:

September 30, 2006

*First Screening - 2 pm
*Second Screening - 5 pm

Venue:

Ann Arbor Montessorri Learning Center Auditorium
# 390, El Grande Avenue, BF Homes, Parañaque City

Ticket Prices:

P 150.00 - ASP member
P 200.00 - non-member

For further inquiries, please contact Mr. Evert Malapad (Chapter President) @ 09176424290 / 09215666192. You can also inquire at ASP - National Office (9266941 / 4368713)

for more information, visit Autism Society Philippines.

thanks!

Ako Ay Filipino

2006-08-30T10:17:00.000+08:00

Arolf's first Sabayang Pagbigkas (Linggo ng Wika)

I got there just in time to watch him perform, sad that I didn't get to catch it on video near enough. He's the one constantly wiping his mouth. Hehe.

A cure for autism?

2006-08-20T08:05:00.000+08:00

from an egroup that i am a member of:

======================

Sometimes I feel angry when I read about attempts being made to 'cure' autism.

I do not wish to be 'cured' from my autism, and many autistic persons who are able to communicate their feelings, say the same thing.

Autism is not something that I have, it is something that I am. Autism is in every emotion I experience, in every thought I think. Autism is throughout my philosophy, my political beliefs, my religious convictions. Autism affects my choice of job, my taste in clothes, my favourite music and literature, the artforms I like, and those I dislike. I am autistic in my views on humanity, my opinion of individual persons, Everything!

Autism is not a cage, with us as the prisoners. You cannot talk about a person 'emerging' from autism.

If it were possible to remove autism from a person, you would get a different person. A person who, perhaps, fits in better with his surroundings. Maybe a person who abides by the rules of society more. A person who does not stick out. That person will look identical to the previous one, but will be a different person nonetheless.

Another autistic person said that when people talk about curing an autistic person, what they are actually saying is that they wish that instead of this person, there was someone else who is more 'normal'. Naturally that is not a nice thing to hear if you are the person they're talking about.

I'm not against medications which will alleviate some of the symptoms or problems of autism. For example, if there were something which would filter out the 'noise' of a crowded room and let us concentrate on one conversation, that would be very useful. If there were something that would help autistic people make eye contact (some autistics find this impossible), that too would help.

However anything that would alter my mind is so abhorrent an idea that I view it in the same light as homicide. I even find hypnosis horrifying. The idea of anyone else taking control of my mind and manipulating it is unthinkable.

I know that when people talk about curing autism they mean well, but they really don't know what they are talking about. Please keep any such cure away from me. Star Trek fans will understand what I mean when I say I don't want to be assimilated into the collective.

--Author Unknown

===================

and i say...

i respect people with Autism... especially those who can now think for themselves... i am reacting in behalf of those who still cannot... those, who, maybe, don't know the difference.

i am reacting in behalf of the parents and the family...

the term 'cure' is associated with a disease. since Autism is not a disease, but a disorder, it really is inappropriate to use the term 'cure' for it.

I do use the term 'cure' exactly as it is written here, with quotation marks, since other words for some things you wanna happen, is either too long or incomplete.

if i use a definition for the word 'cure', the internet will provide you with this:

remedy: a medicine or therapy that cures disease or relieve pain

i am not a hypocrite person. don't i want my son to be relieved of any medicine or therapy to better his condition? to find a remedy...

by doing the therapies, the schooling, the medicines, the intervention... aren't you really CHANGING him, into a different person? if you're not, why are we going through all of these? if the adults with autism weren't given intervention, where would they be now? would they be able to write masterpieces like the one above? would they be able to hold a pen, or type on a pc?

in the first place, Autism is still a puzzle for us all. There are bits and pieces where this disorder came from, there are myths, it's genetic, it's not... maybe it's mercury poisoning! who knows?

some methods and interventions apply to others, whilst not to some...

for me, what's important is the future... not just for my son, but for babies who will be born with the same disorder... if they really can pinpoint how to 'prevent' or 'cure' this condition, i'll be elated.

especially if your son suddenly asks you...

"mom, do i have ADHD? it says in the book the kid drives his mom crazy... i drive you crazy, too?"

(he was able to get a hold of my book about it and read it without my knowledge)

or when he asks you...

"what's a special school? why did i go to a special school?"

and when he tells you while he was crying locked in his room, and you're at the door trying to tell him to open it...

"mom, you have to help me... i'm trying to control it, but when i get mad, i don't have patience... when i get mad, my head hurts..."

that, coming from my 7 year old son. i think he's starting to realize that he's a little 'different' than kids in regular school now. when the time comes that he's ready to be on his own and think for himself, then i'd be ready to let him go.. =)

Life Changing Disease

2006-08-14T04:14:00.000+08:00

sorry at di nakakapag-update... hehe...

getting sick with a dreadful disease with no assurance of getting better takes a lot of time, patience, and sleep. =)

i was busy getting checked-up, blood tests, getting a second opinion, and all that.. plus my medicines are giving me a hard time concentrating on anything else.

Dale (Arolf) is doing better in his writing in school... i think the teachers are doing a great job... they're getting stricter! and that's best for him...

We're having trouble now with his unexpected fear of the dark... he always shouts when he sees noone is around...

He almost always shouts now, and is a bit troubling for me... yesterday, i have to call him inside my room and gave him a massage, to cool him down... He wanted his sister, Anea, to play the pc and follow his instructions... but Anea, refused. So, he started screaming!

I think I'd better try the Epsom Salt thing that I have been reading from the ASP group.

anyway, here are some recent pictures of Dale.. He's in his gala uniform! He looks so... old! haha...

Of course, when Tony saw we were taking pictures, he asked his Kuya if he could also wear the gala uniform:

too big, no? =) btw, last friday, the Daycare center Tony goes to didn't have classes coz the teachers had a seminar on Autism given by ASP... Hooray! At least, some hope in Pasay... I'm still hoping someone could put up a Pasay City chapter of ASP... =)

since i'm sick, i owe a lot to my daughter Anea now... she takes care of Arolf more than I do! I gave her duties and responsibilities... I talked to her, and asked her to love her brother more... to see if he needs anything in school, if he misbehaves, if his assignments were done, if his things were in order...

Being sick makes you wake up... makes you realize that not everything in this world is permanent... You have to be ready for what can lie ahead... for you not being around all the time... especially if you have a special child... so, you also have the 'duty' to 'make everyone' else matter to your child. You have to make sure he or she will be taken cared of when you pass on.

I know it is very harsh to lay it on a 10-year-old child, but reality bites. Good thing she understands and thinks way beyond her years.

I wish this disease will just go away... we're all praying that my kidneys will get better... or if i really need more treatments, we're praying that my body could combat any other complications that may go with them, and that we could find the money to finance everything.

Dialysis will be a lifetime event for a person like me, and that's twice a week, for thousands per session. That will be done til i get a transplant which will probably cost from half a mil, up.

Anything could happen. You could get sicker. You could get better. You could die.

I have faith. I am positive that everything will be well.

I have been in and out of the hospital many times now. I've been opened up 7 times. I have been pricked hundreds. I'm sure God will give me more strength and patience for thousands more. And one of God's reasons is Arolf. I'm sure of it.

Anyway, more updates as soon as we get the second opinion over and done with... as soon as we're sure what to do next... i'm just starting to get back on my feet now and doing normal things from time to time like going out with my mom to the mall to get some exercise. i haven't even talked to Arolf's guidance counsellor yet, but his teacher texts me from time to time. good thing i haven't seen a 'sent to guidance for counselling' stamp on his diary since the conference. Hahaha...

God bless everyone.

Arolf's Family Day

2006-07-23T18:04:00.000+08:00

It was Arolf's Family Day in school (San Isidro Catholic School) today. We came in late coz it was raining hard here. My mom bought the puto at kutsinta that was the 'toka' of Arolf. She bought it from the market and placed it in a bilao.

Mom and Anea went to church first. It was just me, Arolf, and Tony who went to the gym. As soon as we got there, most of the kids shouted Arolf's name. Clearly, he's popular in school. A lot of kids came up to me and complained about him, like this one kid who said Arolf cut his bag or his notebook. Tsk! Tsk! Kawawang mga bata, naiisahan ng anak ko.

Girls and boys alike went out to greet him, even kids from other sections! I didn't know how to feel. The only thing that lacked was the attention from the parents. I have never been friendly with other parents from school, even with Anea's classmates.

I still dunno how to react if they will ask me why Arolf behaves in a certain way. I dunno if I could say that he's special.

Anyway, he had a great time at first... running about, playing... dancing...

but then it rained hard and he tried to cover his ears... i had to embrace him and tell him that everything will be fine and he should take off his fingers from his ears because people are beginning to stare. He did. He then just sat on my lap and wanted to go home already.

After eating, there was another game of Palayok and all the players were already chosen... He got into a tantrum since he wanted to play. I didn't let him coz I said he had to learn to accept realities.

We went home immediately.

All-in-all, it was ok. Tony even had so much fun.

He got the experience we wanted. I saw his classmates' reaction towards him. I'm sure everything will be fine in time.

Alyana

2006-07-23T05:15:00.000+08:00

About a year or so ago, a letter came to me asking for permission to 'show' Arolf in a film documentary entitled Alyana. They said that they will show him in a positive light.

The first thought that came to mind was, will it have a negative effect on my son?

As an advocate for special children, I signed the paper.

I am not and will never be ashamed of Arolf's condition. I am so proud of everything he has accomplished, even little things like putting his trash in the waste bin properly without us ordering him to do so.

I thought, if this will shed light to other parents who are going through the same emotions I have everyday, then so be it.

I forgot all about the movie. As I said, it was years ago.

Then when I heard about it to be shown, I thought, it sounds familiar... and I wanted very much to see it... Though I got sick, and UP Diliman is quite far for me, I really wasn't going to.

Until the conference where T'Mila, his former SPED teacher, advised me to get my 2 complimentary tickets for Alyana and explained to me that it was the film that asked for my permission before.

OMG. hahaha...

So, I got the tickets and watched it with my mom.

They said Arolf will just have a bit part, like showing him cleaning something. So I said, OK... Eventhough it was a bit part, he's still on it, and it's a documentary film, very informational. My mom would better understand Arolf's condition when I bring her with me.

Of course, i invited Arolf's dad first, but he said he had a prior commitment. He should've been the one who needed more information about his son.

The movie was 2 and a half hours long and in fact they have to cut it into 2 parts so the people watching can have a break.

The first thing that got me excited was one of the posters... Arolf's name was on it! My mom saw it, and after the show she got it from the walls without even asking someone... hahahaha! That's my mom.

Since I didn't know when he's gonna be on, I had to take out the digicam and wait like crazy pushing buttons and changing batteries... It's a shame that I didn't get the first part of the credits coz Arolf's name nga was on it pala.

When I saw the part where T'Mila was already in, I pressed record and got his first appearance. Pity it ain't clear.

He was washing a chair... and very much like he knows how to! My mom had to laugh coz we never thought he could do that... he's so lazy around the house!

We were considering not finishing the movie since it was already late and we have to commute to go home, but I insisted we finish it.. We didn't know that he will be shown 3 more times! It's like he really IS into the movie, and not a bit part.. I wasn't able to capture the rest on video, coz we really didn't know when he'll show and it's always in passing.

The next scene, he was shown walking to the board to tell time, only his back was shown.
And then when he was in the church, close up.
He was asked to write something on the board, side-view.

I was so psyched. My son is a movie star. Hahaha.

I really have to grab a hold of a copy of that movie... not just because Arolf was on it, but I wanted to give copies of it to people for their own understanding of the truths and myths of every child who has it.

The hardships and emotions that parents go through everyday. The clinical, medical, educational, and other aspects of the disability. The many adults who has the same condition living a normal life. How they think with much more sense that us 'normal' people.

And of course, it's permanence. That this condition will never go away.

That is one of the reasons I wanted now to go into a business. Because when I got sick, I realized, if I had died, what will happen to Arolf? Surely, he will be neglected by his father's family... I am sure of it. He might not get the proper education, maybe institutionalized.

I wanted to give him a start in life... I wanted him to get into business like a computer shop or food business where he can work on his own time, be his own boss. Just live and earn and not have to wait on someone to give it to him.

That is one of the reasons I teach Anea and Tony to love their brother everyday. Siblings play an important role.

I realized now how much more I have to teach him... how much more understanding I have to provide... how much more time I have to provide.

I realized everything with one excellent documentary film by MiranaMedina.

I promise you, when I get a hold of a copy, I will post it here... and i'll provide you with a free copy. Let's just wait for it, coz i'm sure it will be available soon.

Conference

2006-07-20T06:06:00.000+08:00

...was a disaster.

it was like a clash of super powers.

arguments...

bashing of their titles.

"i'm a clinical psychologist!"

"ayun naman pala eh, seminar mo mga teachers niyo."

it all boiled down to one thing--strict discipline.

that's all that was helpful.

Updates

2006-07-09T06:43:00.000+08:00

i just got back from the hospital due to inflammation of the kidneys...

a week in the hospital thought me a lot of things and gave me a sense of direction....

bottom line is, my kids really need me...

Dale's diary was full of teacher complaints and didn't do anything in school for the whole week... my daughter smelled... my baby was sick...

i didn't like it.

now, i'm working on changing that and preparing for a life-changing career move... i'm looking into putting up a small business that won't make me leave home always... that i can be with them when they need me...

pray for my success...

PTA Meeting.

2006-06-24T18:36:00.000+08:00

PTA meeting kahapon... mejo kinakabahan ako, kasi baka may mga parents na mag-raise ng incident about Dale... at meron nga! Dale cut daw the bag of one child... hay... wala ako nung nagsalita ang parent, i went to Anea's classroom... ang sabi sa kin ng guidance counsellor (Ms. Garcia), ang sabi niya lang daw is kakausapin niya si Dale at yung isa pang child kung ano nangyari... we didn't have to tell them that Dale was a special child.

Sabi sa kin ni Dale, kasi daw si Carmela, she hit him on the head... kaya he borrowed a classmate's scissor and quickly cut Carmela's bag.. buti na lang hindi hair or something... wah!!!

the day that Dale wrote on his notebooks, nag-shadow pala nun sa kanya si Ms. Garcia. kaya after that, wala na naman... di na naman nagsusulat... nagiging problema na rin yung inability niya to speak, write and read Tagalog... nung nagtest sa Filipino, sinagot niya in English... Pero dun daw sa Math, mabilis naman daw natapos...

hay... ewan ko ba... sana pagpasok ng July maging ok na si Dale...

sana tuloy-tuloy na...

2006-06-21T18:28:00.000+08:00

Dale wrote on his notebooks today... he promised 3x, but he wrote 4x... *yey!*

i texted his teacher and thanked her for her patience.

i wish everyday is June 21.

hehe.

2006-06-20T18:30:00.000+08:00

Just wanted to note that Dale wrote in one of his notebooks today... he promised he will write again tomorrow... *happy happy joy joy*

hay

2006-06-19T18:30:00.000+08:00

i'm getting frustrated over Dale... he came home and still didn't write on the notebook... Grrr!

mag3 weeks na...

i'm losing it.

sad

2006-06-16T18:31:00.000+08:00

hay... i just feel so sad today... Dale went home from school and when i saw his diary, it was stamped with a note from the guidance office. he was sent there coz he hit his classmate (Ryuji) with a pencil. Ryuji got a nasty cut on the side of his face near his ear.

Though Ryuji explained that it was his fault, coz he kept on nudging Dale's hand when he was drawing causing him to miss some lines, that is no excuse for Dale to hurt anyone... this was one of my worst fears when I knew that he'll be starting regular school. iba na kasi syempre pag regular school... mas mahigpit... pwede siyang makickout sa dami ng violations...

i know i'm being hard on him and myself... pero i can't help it. i worry lagi... gusto ko lang talaga siya mapabuti... i'm not wishing for anything grand... i'm not after medals... i just want him to be... NORMAL.

i talked to Dale and as punishment i made him write HITTING IS BAD in two pieces of paper. Of course, i had to tell some lies.... and that if he keep on doing bad things, he will be sent back to SPED. that i feel bad and if he keeps on doing bad things, i might get sick and be sent to the hospital... i know, i'm evil. i hate it.

Minsan.

2006-06-09T00:18:00.001+08:00

Ang dami kong iniisip nitong mga nakaraang araw. Sa sobrang dami, laging nasakit ang ulo ko. Parang napupuno ng napakaraming tanong pero wala namang kasagutan.

Pumapasok na si Arolf sa eskwelahan. Nung unang araw, hinatid ko sila ni Anea. Hinintay ko sandali. Nagmasid ako sa silid nila, tinitingnan kung maayos na nagaaral si Arolf. Nakita ko siyang kiming nagtataas ng kamay. Nagsasalita ng walang nakikinig. Tumatayo ng hindi naman dapat.

Binalikan ko siya bago sila maguwian. Inabutan ko syang palabas ng silid may hawak na tissue. Alam ko, dudumi siya. Yun ang isa pang iniisip ko. Walang oras ang kanyang pagdumi. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung pano ko ito sasabihin sa kanyang mga guro. Hindi pa naman siya gaanong marunong. Nakita ko rin ang banyo, hindi naman gaanong malinis. Nakakatakot na baka makakuha siya ng sakit dahil sa paggamit ng maduming banyo.

Hindi siya nagsulat sa kanilang diary. May assignment pa naman. Kailangan niyang magsaulo ng kung anu-ano. Vision, Mission, Morning Prayer, etc. Naisip ko na, mahihirapan siya. Tama nga ako. Dalawang araw na naming sinasaulo ang mga ito, hindi pa rin niya masaulo lahat. Gusto kong umiyak. Gusto kong sumuko. Naisip ko tuloy, bakit ako ang binigyan ng Panginoon ng ganitong pagsubok? Bigla kong binawi, dahil naisip ko, hindi siya isang pagsubok--anak ko siya.

Masakit isipin na pwedeng isang araw ay bigla na lamang siyang huminto sa pagaaral. Pwedeng umayaw siya dahil sa hindi na niya kaya ang mga pinagagawa sa kanya ng kanyang mga guro. Lagi kong naririnig sa kanya ngayon na "regular school is so difficult." Kinakailangan ko pa siyang takutin ng ibabalik namin siya sa SPED kung hindi siya magaaral ng mabuti... na isusumbong ko siya sa lolo niya.

Ayoko ng ginagawa ko. Ayoko ng tinatakot ko siya. Ayokong pilitin siya. Pero hindi ko matanggal sa sarili ko na mainis, na magalit pag hindi siya nasunod at gawin ang mga dapat niyang gawin. Na sumigaw pag hindi ko nakikita na bumubuti ang ugali niya. Na kakayanin niya na mamuhay ng normal.

Gusto kong umiyak.

Minsan, gusto ko ng sumuko.

Pero sa paanong paraan? San ko huhugutin ang damdaming 'pagsuko' kung sa araw-araw na nagdududa akong bubuti siya ay lalo ko naman siyang minamahal?

Minsan, gusto ko na lang siyang itigil sa pagaaral.

Pero sa paanong paraan? Pano ko maaatim na patigilin siya kung sa araw-araw na natatakot ako na kutyain siya ng mga tao dahil sa kanyang kalagayan ay lalo ko naman siyang nakikita na bumubuti?

Minsan, gusto ko ng iuntog ang ulo ko para makalimutan ko ang lahat.

Pero sa paanong paraan? Paano ko gugustuhing makalimutan ang lahat kung parte siya nito?

Mahal ko ang anak ko.

Minsan, nagdududa ako sa kakayahan niya. Minsan, nanghihina ako sa mga bagay na hindi niya magawa ng mabuti. Minsan, nagagalit ako sa mga maling nangyayari. Minsan, iniisip kong hindi ako ang tamang ina para sa kanya.

Pero, minsan lang yun.

Kaya ko ito. Alam ko. Sigurado ako.

Minsan lang kinakailangan kong magsumbong sa Diyos. Na sabihin sa kanya na huwag naman masyadong mabigat, Lord. Na sana bigyan ako ng mga araw na hindi ko kinakailangang magduda, sumigaw, magalit, at manakot.

Kahit minsan lang.

The Boy Who Could’ve Soared Higher

2006-05-18T22:36:00.000+08:00

(sorry for not posting for too long... this post isn't about Dale, but i'm angry and i want to breathe. pardon the mistakes and all.)

Every child and adolescent has a right to education… or so I thought.

Ever since I was a child, I dreamed of becoming a teacher. I envisioned myself honing a child, watching a child develop, being a second mother. This dream magnified when I watched The Boy Who Could Fly when I was a kid and saw a teacher who kept an autistic student from being sent into an asylum.

As I grew older, the realization that a teacher’s salary cannot possibly be enough for my family struck me, so, I took on a different course and eventually became a call center employee.

However, there was still this call to teach someday, and I decided to take up units in Education so I could take the Licensure Examinations for Teachers. I took it in 2004 and passed.

I haven’t taught in a classroom setting yet. The cost of living and feeding three children alone made me re-think my career choices, but I still have high respect for teachers. Until I read a text message from my sister-in-law:

“si vhon, ayaw ng tanggapin sa school nila, nakausap ko yung adviser.”

When I spoke with my sister-in-law, she explained that the soon-to-be adviser Ms. Cleofe Abad (Christ The Lord of Harvest, San Mateo), was the one who talked to her. She was also the former Biology teacher of my nephew who also took a summer class with her.

The reason was the child already committed too many school violations. I asked my sister how many of these violations exactly does she know of. She said she knew of one formal complaint and incident report, wherein my nephew hit (“binatukan”) another student. Other than that, there was no formal complaint.

I love my nephew. That is evident. But, I also do not condone hurting people or any bad behavior. But this side I have to explain. My nephew is different than other 15-year old adolescents. This was made clear to every adviser who has handled my nephew before the start of every class.

We have noticed this “behavior” when he started school. He is hard-headed, ill-tempered, always on the go, rarely focused, easily irritated. These result to fights, first and foremost with the family, and then with the school. He also had difficulty on focusing on his studies other than sports. His parents tried every discipline strategy. They tried talking to him, they tried being hard on him… nothing worked. There were moments when my nephew listens and does what he is told, but he chooses those moments, and nobody can foretell when.

I have a special child of my own, who I am proud to say have been accepted in a regular school after four years of SPED. I even took a few units of SPED from the University of the Philippines just so I could understand my child’s disorder. That was also the time when the idea that my nephew could’ve been a special child, too, came to mind. But since he was already in high school, we thought he was too old for a diagnosis.

We have accepted the fact that he might not complete tertiary education at all, and we are trying our best to have him complete at least secondary education, and then have him trained for a livelihood, like automotive or just having a carwash business that his parents could eventually let him manage when he is ready.

As a licensed teacher, I swore under oath to become the best teacher I could be with the student’s welfare on top of my priorities. Now, I ask myself, did this Biology teacher took the same oath? What were her priorities as an educator? I cannot understand how a teacher who has taken an oath before God and country can deny a student his right to education.

They also said that it was the teacher’s decision; they couldn’t do anything about it. This particular student have been in this school for two years now, and this particular teacher was the only one my nephew does not like because he feels like “pinagiinitan siya”.

One particular incident was that my nephew failed to wear his polo shirt to class (instead, an ordinary shirt), he said he was sorry and would not do it again. He also said there were other students who were not wearing their uniform. This teacher asked him to leave the room and go home. When asked why she did so, she said “to be an example to other students.”

I told myself, if this is the kind of teacher I could be, I will be a disgrace to the profession. Using a student to educate other students like this is far more than setting an example. Why didn’t she order all those who were not wearing their uniforms to go home? Why use my nephew? Or is it something else?

My nephew also told us that one time, he fell asleep in class. Instead of waking him up properly, this teacher threw a chalk at him. We understand the fact that my nephew is difficult to deal with. What we can’t understand is why this Biology teacher cannot deal with it, while other teachers can?

She said my nephew passed the summer class. My sister-in-law asked her what grade her son got. She said, “bibigyan ko siya ng 75.” I ask myself again, is giving out grades like plucking it from nowhere? Just so my nephew will not be enrolled to her class and can be enrolled to another school, she will give him a passing mark?

She also said the school will provide my nephew a good moral character (certificate). Now, I ask you, if my nephew is as difficult as she has made his parents believe, why would they even give him this certificate?

I don’t even understand why the teacher was the one his parents were talking to. Why didn’t the principal herself talk to them? Is this how they handle difficult situations or they just do not know what their teachers are up to?

I still believe that being a teacher is the noblest profession. I still dream that one day I could afford to give up a well-paying job and teach instead. I still wish that my nephew can finish even secondary education without being ridiculed, shouted at, thrown a chalk, or be sent home for not wearing his uniform.

I remember my nephew telling me when he was younger, referring to something that I was coveting on TV: “Di bale Tita, ‘pag tapos ko ng college at yumaman ako, ibibili kita ng sampu niyan.”

I beamed at him that day, and wished really hard for it to come true. I prayed that someday, he could fly and soar higher than the rest. But now it seems like there are people who wants to clip his wings.

Ms. Abad, I tell you now and you must do well to remember it, you will not succeed in putting him down. If we cannot find more good teachers to formally teach him, then I would do it, even if it means not having a diploma telling him he finished secondary school. We will not let that piece of paper be the judge of what he can be.

As a line from my favorite movie says… if you wish hard enough, love long enough… anything is possible.

wow.

2006-05-17T23:01:00.000+08:00

My blog is worth $5,080.86.
How much is your blog worth?

hanep no?

a day at the zoo

2006-04-23T19:02:00.000+08:00

i wanted to go to the zoo for the longest time, but couldn't find the right time.
for holy week, my mom went to my brother's place for a vacation.
when she came home for Easter, I took the opportunity to
finally go to the zoo with my kids. my brother, his wife, and baby Bea went, too.

the first thing i noticed was the entrance fee. *grin*

since my dad worked for the zoo
when we were kids as a payroll clerk,
we could get in for free.
now, we had to pay. *LOL*

now, it's 40 bucks for adults and 20 for the kids.

next thing i noticed was... oh my God, where is Tony?!

And that pretty much sums up what I did there. Look for him.
Good thing my mom was there to take care of Dale who wasn't interested in animals, i guess. 'Coz all he did there was eat ice cream, and then play (there's a playground).

Unlike Tony, who couldn't last a minute from one cage to the next.
And with, i think, half of Manila and Pasay there that day,
I really couldn't afford to let him out of my sight.
i couldn't even get a decent picture of him.

anyway, it was fun. the animals were abundant compared
to the last time we were there (ages ago). except they were still missing a giraffe.
the old one, well, got old and died. pity.
the giraffe is one of the main attractions there.

of course there was this cool chimpanzee who has a kitten for a pet.
too many people around the cage = no picture.

and the scary limping tiger. the falcons... i loved the falcons!

the peacock.

the gigantic rhinos.

the turtles.

this drugged bird (or maybe the flash shocked his eyes out).

the bunnies that Bea loved.

and this lonely monkey. is it me, or is one of her tits showing? *LOL*

and the stuffed animals. Of course, they were off limits to people.
But hey, my brother got carried away and thought that Dad still
works there, so we kinda 'slipped' into the office quietly. *wakokokoko*

funny thing with the stuffed animals is that they scared the bejeezers out of Tony.
I was carrying him that time, and when he saw them,
he tightened his grip on my neck, and he probably would've killed me,
til I managed to say that they were already dead. and stuffed. *cough*

I couldn't blame him though, they scare me, too.

we only stayed there for less than 2 hours, but we were exhausted after.
what with all the chasing we did with Tony, and with the playing with
Bea who kept on going for the slides.

but it was a fun experience and if you really don't have enough money to spend,
the zoo is the right place to bring your kids for a little exploration.

Note:
if you're gonna go, bring food and drinks. they cost double there.
alcohol, a change of clothes, tissue, hankies are necessities.

oOo

i'm posting this triumphant smile coz Dale got in at
San Isidro Catholic School as Grade 1 full mainstream.
He did well during the interview, the principal informed me afterwards.
Her only negative comment was that he talks too fast.
He was asked to pray, to write certain words, count,
recite the alphabet, and some pertinent questions.

they only ask for submission of regular assessments,
and a dialogue with his former teacher.

he was sure that he got in that when i was looking at the list of school supplies
he needed he wanted me to buy them already.
he didn't leave until I said yes. and we did.

now, i really am not sure if i'm relieved that he passed.
coz now, i have these fears.
the workload, the schedule, the teacher, the classmates, the parents,
his bowel movement schedule, his penmanship, his... everything.

scenarios keep on flashing on me before i sleep, when i look at him, and in between meals.
what if he doesn't make it? what if he couldn't deal with it?

i'm also thinking too much 'coz i have to work.
with no yaya, and three kids going to school, how will we manage?

what if something happens and i'm called by the school for some reason and i'm at work?

during these times, i wish i wouldn't need to work and just be a
plain mother and be with my kids more.

but reality sucks.

big time.

happy days

2006-03-31T18:30:00.000+08:00

the past two days have been busy with Anea and Dale's recognition days.
Thank God they were done on separate days or i'll be in a
dilemma to which recognition i'd have to go. *whew*

Anea received 2 medals, both for being the 3rd outstanding student in Grade 4.
One medal from the school, and the other from the Mayor.

<

The first week of March, Tony graduated from Nursery and was 10th in his class.

Today, it was Dale's turn. He was excited about the day.

Of course, who could be more happy and excited than me?

Dale officially graduated from the Pasay City SPED Center and was the Best in his class.

It was a happy day, even if it was raining... all the students received some kind of award.
It was also obvious that a lot graduated from SPED this year, unlike the past.
It was like the rain is blessing each and everyone there.

With his classmates and teacher:

He was so happy with his medal that the first thing he said was:

Call Papa.

What? I asked.

You call Papa, Yahoo Messenger mo sya.

We can't, we're outside the house.

O, i-text mo na lang.

Why ba? What will I tell him?

Tell him, I won a gold medal, o!

I couldn't help hugging him for his logic.
It's obvious that he misses his grandfather.

After the event, we all went to Max's to eat.
With all of us very hungry, I forgot to take pictures. *hehe*
The restaurant was full and busy.
A lot of students were celebrating their graduation day.

I was able to take my kid's pictures anyway,
and I'm so happy that all of them have awards this school year.

Indeed, you cannot have everything.
You may not be happy in some aspects of your life.
You may not have enough money, or a big house.
But God gives you what you deserve.
Something worth more than everything you've wished for.

Thank you for all the support and prayers.

sigh

2006-03-22T21:22:00.000+08:00

Dale was unusually quiet today. I had to talk to him everytime so i'd make sure he's okay. I don't want him to go into a seizure again. Once is enough.

I was preparing dinner, and I saw him just staring out the sky... he stayed like that for more than 5 minutes... I asked him why he was quiet, he said, WALA LANG. AFTER I'M QUIET, I TALK.

oh well, okay, i thought.

then we ate dinner. When he was about to go down to start playing the computer again, he came running back to the dining room, and lay down the chairs... I asked him why, he said CLOSE THE DOOR. I did, and I noticed he looked scared. When he finished eating and went to brush his teeth, he asked for the lights to be turned on. He also asked me to stay with him beside the sink while he brush.

When all of us finished dinner, we found him curled on the sofa. I asked him why again. he said, there's something inside the CR.

I carried him to my mother's bedroom, and let him listen to the MP3 player til he fell asleep.

he was so scared i pity him. I told him there was nothing there. But he was still scared. i asked my kids, my mom, and the help if they said something or if he watched something on tv, they said no.

hay...

times like these, i wish i have lots of money and need not work so i can take care of him personally everyday.

p.s.
his teacher also told me about his rain instincts... along with Kim, his classmate with autism. I told her I already knew about it.

yesterday, the sky was so dark I was sure it's gonna rain... but Dale wasn't bothered, unlike before... so i asked him if it's gonna rain... he said NO without looking at me, and went down to play. Anea and I waited... after an hour or so, the clouds cleared.... IT DIDN'T RAIN.

it's good that Anea and I didn't bet on it.

Beh!

2006-03-21T08:47:00.000+08:00

i went to Dale's school to talk to his teacher about his progress and
other plans for his improvement.
She told me too many beautiful things that Dale did...
His teacher also told me that Dale will
finish first this school year with a gold medal.
The recognition is on March 31st.

Why finish?
'Coz he can now be transferred to a regular school
as Grade 1 full mainstream this June.

It's as if the problem of the whole world dissolved into nothingness... hahaha!

nothing can top this.

that's why i chose the picture above to go with this post...
it's like Dale telling the whole world that he beat it.
"beh...!"

yey!
we're off to face new challenges in his life.
and we will face them no matter how difficult and painful they get.

My heartfelt thanks to everyone who showed concern and support...
My parents, family, and relatives.
His brother, Tony..
His sister, Anea..
My friends who were there with me all the time to see me cry and share my joy:
Bes, Mai, Anne, Basti, Bon, Saint, etc.
His teachers--Belle, Lisa, Shirley, Mila
All the other teachers and the principal who took part in changing his life.
The Pasay City SPED Center.

I know this is not the end, but a beginning...
but i would like to thank you people for every step accomplished...
i know another post like this will come in the future...
and my acknowledgment list will be longer than this.

thank you.

Thank God.

article on Autism Treatment for Older Kids

2006-03-15T10:19:00.000+08:00

most of my worry about Dale is thinking about what could happen when he grows older. Would there be any problem with his social life.

read this... nice article on Autism treatment. =)

my reasons for breathing...

2006-03-12T07:48:00.000+08:00

aren't they lovely?

my ate is so grown up!

this is what we do sometimes...but most of the time, we just watch DVDs and play. have a nice week ahead!

How To Keep Your Sanity

2006-02-27T15:02:00.000+08:00

1. Pray.

The first thought that came to my mind when I learned about Dale's condition was,

Why him, God?

It is shameful that I have to question God about His intentions about my son. But I guess, it is but human nature to do so.

I learned that praying is a good way to keep you sane. Conversations with the unknown? Yes, it is. During times when I doubt Dale's capabilities or future, I talk to Him. Even if I don't hear His voice, I see his answers through Dale's magnificent, even miraculous transformation.

2. Accept.

The second thing I did was to accept that Dale has autism. And I guess that was the best thing I have ever done.

With acceptance, I helped Dale become who he is now. Without it, you'll be living in a state of denial and will not help your child to overcome his/her condition.

3. Find Support.

Everywhere. Start with your family. I just hope that your family is as supportive as mine. They also accepted the fact that Dale has autism, and this helped so much.

My Dad taught him a lot, especially about patience. He used to take Dale to school, and patiently disciplined Dale. My dad, the behavior modification therapist. =)

My Mom, Dad's counterpart, gives Dale a lot of love. She spoils him rotten and gives him almost everything he wants.

I guess it was what Dale needed, a balance of superpowers hovering over him. =)

My parents cover for me when I can't go to school for a meeting, or to watch a program they were having. They provide for Dale when I can't do so. They bring him to the hospital when he is sick.

My brothers and sisters helped me in so many ways... especially when taking care of Dale. They bring him along for Church service and malling.

My nieces and nephews, played with him and taught him new games... they looked after him when I can't.

My husband's family.... another support group. I owe them a lot... especially in taking care of Dale when nobody from our side is available.

My husband Ronald... I know he was in a state of denial for a long time, even if he won't admit it. He might not witness everything that Dale ever did and have accomplished, but I know he loved Dale deeply and is ready to provide for him when the need arises.

My daughter Anea... when she learned that Dale has autism, she patiently told him to stop pulling her hair. Before that, she screamed and hit him when he did. She takes time to teach him how to behave, how to read, how to talk. She's my first miracle.

His brother Tony, the greatest brother that ever lived, became his therapist. When Tony started talking, he talked to Dale everyday... soon after, Dale started talking. When Tony started being playful, he played with Dale everyday.... soon after, Dale started playing with him.

I guess the best thing I did after Dale was having Tony. Do not be afraid to have another child in your lives. I know it will be difficult, but he/she might be your next miracle. He saved us 500 pesos per hour worth of speech therapy, and 500 pesos per hour worth of play/occupational therapy.

4. Work.

Yes, work. You might not have a lot of time for your son, but working keeps you away from him for 8 hours a day. You can say that it is selfish of me, but it helps to keep your mind away from his condition even for a few hours. Keep yourself sane, or else you might not be able to help your son at all.

And with the expense that comes with his condition, you need all the money you can get. =)

Working for a good company also gets him medical insurance for free. We have been using this insurance since he was 4 months old. He was already hospitalized 8 times, for infantile asthma and a seizure.

5. Be patient.

Improvement will not be seen overnight. Breathe. Live life one day at a time. Marvel at his successes. Wait for him to grow.

6. Read.

Be in the know. You will learn tips and tools to use on your child. Sort of like What to Expect When (You're Expecting) You Have a Child With Autism.

It doesn't mean read books. There are websites to help you, too. You can google on the word AUTISM and you'll get thousands of hits.

7. Join Egroups.

You'll get great tips from parents about everything!

8. Study.

When reading isn't enough, you can always take up SPED (Special Education). You'll learn a lot from people who have taught special children on a first-hand basis.

9. Be firm.

Mean what you say. If you say NO, then mean NO. If your child asks for a chocolate brownie and you said NO, don't give it to him when he cries for it.

Why? Children are great manipulators. They think that if they can cry their way into you, they will do that. Besides, crying is really good for the lungs. =)

If he doesn't stop crying, offer him something else.

10. Treat your child like any normal kid.

Shout all you want. Bottling up your anger will give you a heart attack. I do spank, but not that hard. I do shout, that, I do loudly.

Do not treat him differently. Do not think that he already has a condition, why be harsh? Discipline your child if he needs it. Treating him differently will not help him at all.

11. Find a good doctor.

Your child's Pediatrician should know about his condition. If you find a good doctor, stick to him/her. The first thing I look for in a doctor is how he gives medicines. Mine takes into consideration his age and weight before actually prescribing the dosage. He doesn't give antibiotics right away. In short, he assesses the child's condition thoroughly before advising.

Try Dr. Jose Clemente, Room 349 of Makati Medical Center. His clinic is also a haven for kids with all his toys and free lollipops.

You may also want to know that I was impressed with the MMC Emergency Room when we took Dale when he had a seizure. Imagine Chicago Hope or ER. Great professional service.

12. Find a good yaya.

Your lifesaver! A good knowledgable and patient yaya will phone you during emergencies, knows your child's diet by heart, knows his medicine schedule and the corresponding dosage, will follow your rules.

13. Take your child (almost) everywhere.

Do not keep him like a prisoner at home. The more he goes out, the more he sees how it should be outside his own world.

While in the zoo, talk to him about the animals. Do not lose hope and think that he doesn't listen. He does! Continue talking and offer him things to touch, things to see, and things to hear.

Let him roam, but keep your eyes on him. If you're going out as a family, ask the yaya to come with you so she can take care of the other children.

14. Find time for yourself (and your other children, and your husband).

Take a day off from taking care of your special child. Ask your parents to watch over him for a day, and take your spouse for a date.

You can also take one of your kids out, just you and him/her. Siblings tend to be jealous of your special child because of the special attention you give him/her. Doing this even once or twice a month lessens jealousy among siblings.

15. Keep memories.

Take loads of pictures! Capture precious moments on video. Go back and see them once in a while. You'll see the changes in your child's face there.

16. Blog.

Write on your journal. Let out your feelings. Write your child a letter. Let your creative juices flow.

I chose to do this online, 'coz I thought that maybe some other mom out there needs to know how I am feeling. Maybe, in some way, I could help.

This will also serve as a memento for your child when he learns how to read in the future.

17. Buy an MP3 player.

No, this is not a joke. Most kids like Dale calm down when they hear music. Choose soothing ones. You can have him listen to them when you're in the car going somewhere. My mom gave me an MP3 player (no, not the iPod, but works the same) and I discovered that it is helpful to keep Dale quiet. Now, the MP3 player never leaves my bag.

18. Choose a good school with supportive teachers.

The Pasay City SPED Center is a public school for special children living in Pasay. They have airconditioned rooms and well-trained teachers. Tuition is almost free.

19. Pray again.

And thank the Lord for another day with your special child.

Finally, BREATHE.

Live life one breath at a time. Just like what the song from Garbage says:

The trick is to keep breathing.

Videos

2006-02-27T11:45:00.000+08:00

watch a sample video of Dale.

Dale tells a story--Little Red Riding Hood Baby Looney Toons Style:

here is a video of Dale dancing to Pinoy Ako during Autism Week 2006 where he won First Place:

This one never ceases to crack us up.

currently uploading some more.

...updating...

2006-02-23T12:08:00.000+08:00

hi! i'm currently changing this blog's template...

please bear with us. =)

career choices 101

2006-02-20T07:59:00.000+08:00

we were talking to the kids about their career choices 2 days ago...

Anea made up her mind... she wants to be a chef. Since when I look at Classified Ads, there are a lot of job openings for chefs around the world, I said sure. She can take Culinary Arts or HRM first, then she can study different types of cooking from other trade schools... gusto ko kasi pati HRM para if she wants she can manage her own restaurant someday.

si Tony naman... pag tinanong mo kung anong gustong maging... sabi niya Taxi Driver.... eh di nagtawanan lahat... ako naman i probed kasi naisip ko there can be more to it than that... sabi ko ilang taxi? sabi niya 10... siya daw magddrive ng isa tapos yung iba, iba din magddrive... tapos ibibigay daw sa kanya yung pera, tapos ibibigay daw sa akin.... at least alam na niya yung concept ng boundary (at sa akin naman pala ibibigay... hehehe). eh operator naman pala ang gusto, ok lang.... eh kung sa sampu, 500 isang boundary, eh di 5T na yun a day... not bad.

tapos nung tinanong namin si Dale, sabi niya, wala... hindi ako magwowork... sabi ko, naku patay... Tony, you have to make that 20 taxis... kasi di daw magwwork si kuya mo.. okay naman daw sabi ni tony... mabait na anak na, mabait na kapatid din naman pala.

so all in all, i have 2 business-minded kids and a bum. Not bad at all. =)

computer addict

2006-02-17T07:22:00.000+08:00

yep, a schedule was imposed again for computer use and doing their homework 'coz the kids are always fighting!

"mommy, it's my turn!"

"mommy, tell Arolf it's my turn!"

"mommy, si Arolf ayaw umalis sa computer!"

yep, Arolf is a computer addict... sometimes, i have to pry his fingers from the computer table just so i can get him off it.

i got angry and my patience snapped when I took him off the pc, and Tony used it... Arolf ran to the pc, and switched it off! He then, ran to my mother's room and locked the door!

I knocked on the door and demanded he open the door... he shouted to tell me he'll open the door but I have to promise that I won't get mad and hurt him... when he opened the door and I talked to him, he said that he did it because it was HIS computer... that Papa (his grandfather) said it was his!

Papa, I guess you have to talk to Arolf regarding this...

anyway, as of yesterday, he followed the schedule posted... I just hope that he'll do so everyday.

Macapagal Avenue

2006-02-04T20:30:00.000+08:00

we went to Macapagal Avenue along Roxas Blvd early in the morning
to breathe a little fresh air...
look! we haven't even showered yet... LOL.

this is me and Dale looking at the sea and listening to music.
if there's one thing i like about having an
MP3 player is that I can use it to calm him down.
really, really, honestly, effective.
if you're having trouble with your kid, buy an MP3 player, quick!

you can put music that you like, then music that he likes
so when the time comes you need it for him
you have the music he needs ready for him to listen.
lucky for me, he likes my kind of music.
yey!

the kids enjoyed the break from
the monotonous days we are having at home...
and they enjoyed the food that we bought from Jollibee...
they ate it under a nice, stout, low palm tree...

there were a lot of people there...
jogging and exercising, and just playing with their pets and kids...

it was a good experience for Dale
since i thought him a lot about the sea...
then we saw a patch of Makahiya
(plant that closes when you touch them)
and we played with it til the boys got exhausted.
it was their first time to see one.

anyway, you should try it with your kids sometime
it's fun!

(and you wouldn't spend too much unlike going to the mall. LOL.)

Autism Week

2006-02-02T11:30:00.000+08:00

the ending of the Autism Week was met with much anticipation. The students went to Mass at the nearby church, and was engaged in a contest much like GAMEKNB, where students progress to winning when they get answers correctly.

Dale won in their category. Jumping to a number when he gets the answer correctly. People around me are shouting his name. Clearly, Dale was a crowd favorite.

He did not win in the spelling contest though, because he did not dare join. He went into a tantrum at the trial attempt where they were asked to spell PRINCIPAL. He cried onstage and said that he did not know the spelling of long words.

Almost all the teachers went up to cheer him on and prevent him from going down the stage, to no avail.

In any case, we still are happy that he at least joined and won in one contest.

oOo

Mom arrived on January 25th just 3 hours delayed. When Dale saw her, he went into hiding at first, but got into her arms when they embraced.

The kids put up banners the night before that said WELCOME HOME MAMA ROSIE, and some 'grandmother' poems, too. We fixed up the other room so she'll have her own again. She bought a bed the same day and now the room is also where the kids stay most of the time just for hanging out.

oOo

Mom and Dad bought me the Autism Awareness ribbon that I told them about. Only one manufactures this, Offray. Price including shipping was about $20 for the 10-yard ribbon.

I started making the ribbons so I can give them to teachers and parents of children with autism at school. Unfortunately, I couldn't do it within Autism Week.

oOo

Mom also brought home a new digicam, so that's what I'm using now, instead of my fonecam. It gives out clearer pictures even at night. Though it takes super slow to upload to Photobucket, since the files are so much larger than that from the fonecam, and I'm only on dial-up.

Here is a picture of Dale when we went to Glorietta for a bit of fun:

Anyway, more pictures to come as soon as I'm done uploading.

help find Carlo

2006-01-30T17:10:00.000+08:00

NAME: CARLO BUCANO

MISSING SINCE JANUARY 16, 2006
13 YEARS OLD, AUTISTIC
5'4" TALL, FAIR COMPLEXION
WEARING BLUE SANDO WITH
"PATEROS CATHOLIC SCHOOL" LOGO
WHITE & BLUE SHORTS

IF FOUND PLS CONTACT:

AMELIA BUCANO
27 G. MANALO ST. BRGY. MARTEROS PATEROS, METRO MANILA
TEL #: 8969031 / 8970277
CELL: 0919-4734410 / 0906-2184774

proud mommi

2006-01-14T13:56:00.000+08:00

yesterday, Dale's school had a talent contest for Autism Month. Dale was one of the contestants for dance. When we got to the school, I already noticed that there will be a slight problem. All the kids were in their P.E. uniform, whilst Dale was in his regular one.

Dale stopped walking. Since I was holding his hand, i felt him go tense.

uh-oh.

Then his teacher (T'Mila) called me and said he should've been in maong pants and polo shirt. She said she told Dale that. The yaya said that T'Evelyn told her that he should just wear the uniform.

Of course, i was a little pissed. I called the yaya up to bring proper clothes, but when she got there, Dale would not want to change. He said that changing clothes is a house task. He cannot change clothes in school.

dilemma. dilemma. sweat coming out of my neck.

then he said he'll just dance in his uniform since T'Mila said it was okay. And much to my surprise, delight, and Godknowswhatelse, he did. even if it was raining.

the crowd was roaring, clapping and jumping with delight. He danced to the Pinoy Big Brother theme song, Pinoy Ako. I also noticed that he was getting tense whenever he forgets the steps, but he finished the song.

i was ecstatic.

good thing i brought the video camera. i caught it on tape so my folks can see it when they got back from the States.

and then, as if it wasn't enough... he won First Prize for it.

im so happy, happy, happy, happy.

what i'm not happy about though is the fact that i'm on dial-up and couldn't upload all of the photos easily since they're from a digicam and the file is a little big. Here are some of the pictures that i did finish uploading to Photobucket...

Dale with his current teacher, Mila

Dale with a former classmate

me with a student who was fascinated with my digicam

Dale's version of 'I'm chinese.'

and 'i'm so angry i could eat you.'

his former teachers

some of the teachers and the principal

since it was also the principal's birthday, the kids surprised her with a nice, tearjerker of a song--Iingatan Ka... a lot of the kids, parents, and teachers cried while they sang. they also presented her with flowers and her favorite--orchids.

the school that Dale is in now is Pasay City SPED Center. Even if it was a public school, i'm happy to say that Dale improved a lot, the teachers are qualified, the principal very supportive, the staff courteous, the building clean, and the classrooms airconditioned.

we owe them a lot to the constant improvement of my son, and all of the special children under their care.

a blogger's disclaimer

2006-01-08T10:53:00.000+08:00

if you have been coming here since i started this blog, you will notice a new addition... the DISCLAIMER.

i felt the need to put this on my blog in case something out of the ordinary happens... at least i can defend myself a little bit.

yeah, yeah... something happened that's why i'm doing this, but let's leave it at that.

anyway, if you're too lazy to click on the button, here's the whole lot:

==============================

Personal relationships and privacy

Do not assume that you know everything there is to know about a writer simply because you read their weblog on a regular basis. Any judgements you make will be based on the information they have provided you about themselves, which is probably vague, incomplete or embellished. Whatever opinion you form on them as people, or their life as a whole, is probably best kept to yourself. Remember, you are the reader. An obvious exception to this would be if someone were asking for advice or opinions.

Never contact the writer for more details on events or personal information than what they have already provided on the site. Chances are if the information you seek isn't readily available, they have found it too personal or innapropriate to share. If you are close to the person they will eventually tell you privately, so intrusive questions are not necessary, just leave it alone. If you are meant to know, you will.

If you have a real life relationship with the writer, remember that communication is very important. View weblogs as online journals, no less sacred than a diary hidden between the mattresses. First of all let them know that you read their site, especially if they did not tell you personally.

If they do not want you reading it, or suddenly stop posting entries, ask them why and if necessary, stop going to the site. It is important that as a friend, relative, co-worker or whatever you may be to the writer, that your presence at their weblog not impede their ability to express themselves. Remember this is their outlet. They may not want you to read certain things they might write about you or others you care about, in order to spare your feelings, avoid drama or maintain their privacy. You should respect this and immediately stop going to the site, and never relay any information you gather at their site to others who might use it against them.

If someone writes about you and you don't appreciate it, approach them about it. Try to remain calm and polite. Explain that you are entitled to your privacy as well. There are many compromises that can be reached from using vague nicknames to protect your anonymity, or not mentioning you at all. If you are upset because they are writing negative things about you, be reasonable, try to see if there is a way to resolve the issues and mend your relationship with the writer. If that doesn't seem to be possible, stop going to the website. They will eventually get bored and move on.

Ex-friends, lovers and estranged family members who have been cut out of the writer's life should refrain from reading their journal. If the relationship has ended, there is no reason you should get daily updates on the person's life. If you simply can't help yourself, do it quietly, and never repeat what you read or use it to hurt the writer.

Feedback and initiating contact

If they have a guestbook, sign it. Compliments will always be graciously accepted and appreciated. Criticisms and reproaches are fine if you have a problem with something, but try to remain constructive and not be an asshole. No one is forcing you to give out your opinions, so if you don't have anything remotely positive to say, it may be best to keep quiet.

When contacting a person for the first time, have a clue. If they have a detailed biography and personal information that describes their life from the day they were born, chances are they won't appreciate you wasting their time asking them how old they are or where they live. Writers put a lot of thought and time into their sites, so take the time to read the information they provide you with before you ask for more.

Never assume a writer owes you any response. They may receive from a few to hundreds of messages per day. Some will gladly write back immediately, others will never reply. Try not to take it personally, because chances are it has more to do with their schedule than anything else. If you get upset and nasty about feeling rejected, you will probably ruin any chances you had of befriending the person.

Don't delude yourself into thinking that you will be as important to the writer as he/she is to you. Remember, you are peering in on their life, sharing their thoughts, and though they may become quite special to you, you remain a mystery to them. If they are cold or unreceptive to your advances, keep in mind that you are a stranger to them at this point, and they may or may not want to keep it that way. It's entirely their choice.

Don't be a psycho stalker.

You shouldn't contact people with messenger services unless they list their handles on their website. If you got it from someone else, forget you ever had it, they probably meant to keep it somewhat private.

A writer has the right to stop writing at any time for any reason they see fit, and at no point must they justify or explain these reasons to you or any of their readers. It's their weblog, they can do with it as they please.

Offensive language and materials

The internet is a place that encourages free and creative expression, and as in any environment where people are given this freedom, conflict may arise. If an author uses language or materials that offend you, leave. Contacting the person or their isp, demanding they remove the content or change their ways is absurd because you are viewing their content of your own free will by visiting their site. Simply stop going there and you won't have to see whatever it is you don't like about the site. An obvious exception to this would be if someone were providing illegal materials, in which case it would be appropriate to complain to their isp or contact authorities.

Copyright and courtesy

Never ask someone to make you a layout, to help with your site or show you how to do a certain script or graphic effect that they have on their site, unless they specifically offer their help. There are plenty of tutorials available to help you, just use a search engine to find what you need.

Never use anything off a person's site, be it writing, images or html code, unless they say otherwise. People are very attached to their work and don't usually respond well when others help themselves to it. Copyright is protected by law and in effect the minute something is created, whether the author has a © notice or not. There are online tools where you can learn about copyright laws like What is Copyright?and Redistribution In Graphics Has To Stop.

Under no circumstances should you ever direct link anything, this includes link buttons and any other graphics the writer may offer. Direct linking is when you type something like to display the yahoo link button, instead of actually saving it and uploading it on to your server. It is essentially bandwidth theft, because it uses data transfer, and the owner of the server has to pay for it. Always save the image and upload it to your own server unless the author specifically states you can do otherwise.

'She Only Knew How to Love'

2005-12-31T14:41:00.000+08:00

As I watched my autistic daughter go out onto a baseball field, spinning and
laughing, I relished the beauty of the moment.

By Sherry Wright

I have been blessed with four children-one of them severely handicapped. Her name was Tiffany, and she was severely autistic. Although she couldn't speak, Tiffany only knew how to love people.

Every day my father would come over just to take her for a walk by the creek. She loved to throw rocks into it and watch the ripples. She would giggle so hard--it was almost like she had her own connection to God.

One weekend when Tiffany was 12 years old, we went to watch my oldest daughter Becky's baseball tournament. That was the most beautiful time we ever had with Tiffany. She never once hit herself--an upsetting symptom of her form of autism--and she just showered love on each and every one of us.

At the end of the tournament, the officials handed out awards on the field. Becky won the MVP trophy. Suddenly Tiffany walked out to the pitcher's mound.

Everyone watched because this was very out of character for her. She lifted her hands above her head and started twirling around in circles, laughing so hard that it became contagious. We were all full of joy.

The really strange part was that tears were rolling down her face. It was such a beautiful moment, and it touched so many people. It was the first time that we had ever seen her shed a tear out of joy and not out of hurting herself.

I had no idea what was to come...

After we all came home and I had put the kids to bed, I thanked God for giving me such a beautiful time with her and the other children. Then I fell asleep. I actually slept the whole night for one of the first times in the 12 years of Tiffany's life.

I had no idea what was to come.

The next morning I went into Tiffany's bedroom to get her ready for school. I found she had died in her sleep. I was devastated and didn't understand why God would allow this to happen to me again (I also lost a son in a drowning accident a few years before).

All of a sudden I was struck with a revelation. When Tiffany went to that baseball field and put her hands to the sky and spun around laughing, she was telling God that she was ready to come home. He allowed me to have that last, most beautiful memory of her, filled with love and joy, where she was not suffering and hitting herself.

Tears streamed down my face as I reflected on my last day with her. I thank God every day that he allowed me those memories. I know in my heart that her death was only the beginning of her life. She was so beautiful at her funeral. I know that God was letting me see that she was whole now. All the pain and suffering had left her face.

I felt so much peace because God gave me that gift of witnessing my little girl say goodbye the night before.

So please cherish your children always, because no one is promised tomorrow. Make every day count, and hold on to those precious moments. Not one day goes by that I don't miss and think of Tiffany, but I thank God for her life.

Tips on Travelling

2005-12-29T20:59:00.000+08:00

I got this from an eGroup that I am a member of... Nice and helpful tips when you're travelling with a special child...

~*~

Tip No. 1 - Choose a good airline. My kids are never happy with PAL. Can't understand either. With SIA, they're ok. With PAL, they're incredibly tense. They keep munching and they keep
vomiting. Of course, you don't have to buy this tip.

Tip No. 2 - If it's a long flight, sedate only when you need to. Cough syrup of course....There will be times that you'd wish he was awake and could walk.

Tip No. 3 - Beware of sugar.

Tip No. 4 - Stay cool. No matter how you want them behave they won't. They can feel your tension. Forget the other people but do your best in keeping him together without losing your cool.

Tip No. 5 - Long flight? Bring somebody with you and take turns. Don't depend on the other person entirely. Work out a system so both of you don't lose it. That's what I don't miss about being abroad. Not having a driver and a yaya....No joke.

Tip No. 6 - Educate your son about airplanes and airports. Keep talking to him about the whole process of checking in, boarding, seatbelts, etc. Use books or what have you. Talk to him as
you are actually going through it at the airport and the airplane.

Tip No. 7 - Don't travel during peak season. Less people, the better.

Tip No. 8 - Ask for a special menu if he's on a special diet. Ask the airline if they have this. PAL, SIA and Northwest has this. Most kiddie meals are laden with sugar and preservatives.

Tip No. 9 - Reduce the handcarry.

Tip No. 10 - Ask your OT for exercises he can do on the plane.

Tip No. 11 - What am I talking about? Within the country lang naman eh. That should take 45 mins or so. Then choose an airline with a short check-in like AirPhil. The seats are wider, check in is faster and its almost the same price anyway.

Tip No. 12 - Trust the maternal instinct.

Cris

===========

~DAILY DOSE OF PRAYER~

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. (Mark 11:25, NIV)

PARENT’S PRAYER:

Dear Father, How we thank you that you are a God of forgiveness, and that as we are faithful to confess our sins to you in Jesus’ name, you cast them as far away from us as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). Father, we long for our prayers to be as fruitful as possible. Therefore, as the Bible instructs us, we choose to forgive those who have sinned against us. Father, there are times when it is very difficult to forgive those who have wronged us or our children, and it can be a real struggle.

In situations like that, Lord, we pray that you would infuse us with the strength and grace we need, and that you would minister to the deep wounds and anger these situations have caused. Father, we thank you for your power to overcome and restore our lives, and we thank you that you help us wield one of the most powerful of your weapons, which is forgiveness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

FAMILY/FRIEND’S PRAYER:

Dear Father,How I thank you that you are a God of forgiveness, and that as we are faithful to confess our sins to you in Jesus’ name, you cast them as far away from us as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). Father, I know the Santos family longs for their prayers to be as fruitful as possible. Therefore, as the Bible instructs, I ask that you would help them to forgive those who have sinned against them.

Father, there are times when it is very difficult to forgive those who have wronged us or our children, and it can be a real struggle. In situations like that, Lord, I pray that you would infuse the Santos family with the strength and grace they need, and that you would minister to the deep wounds and anger these situations have caused. Father, I thank you for your power to overcome and restore their lives, and I thank you that you help them wield one of the most powerful of your weapons, which is forgiveness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

daily prayer

2005-12-28T20:25:00.000+08:00

(Jesus speaking…) My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. (John 10:27, NIV)

PARENT'S PRAYER:

Dear Lord,

We thank you that you are a God who not only listens to our prayers, but you speak to us as well. We thank you for your promise that as your sheep, we are able to hear your voice. We come before you today to ask that you would sharpen our ears to hear and recognize your voice. In the midst of all of our busyness, we ask that you would quicken us to follow the direction of your voice. We also thank you that DALE is one of your sheep. We thank you for the promise that he can also listen to your voice. We praise you that you are the God of all power, and that a disability does not prevent a person from hearing your voice. We ask Lord that you would visit DALE often, and reveal yourself to him. We are so grateful for all the promises that you have for us!

In Jesus' Name,
Amen

FAMILY/FRIEND'S PRAYER:

Dear Lord,

I thank you that you are a God who not only listens to our prayers, but you speak to us as well. I thank you for your promise that as your sheep, we are able to hear your voice. I come before you today to ask that you would sharpen the SANTOS family’s ears to hear and recognize your voice. In the midst of all of their busyness, I ask that you would quicken them to follow the direction of your voice. I also thank you that DALE is one of your sheep. I thank you for the promise that he can also listen to your voice. I praise you that you are the God of all power, and that a disability does not prevent a person from hearing your voice. I ask Lord that you would visit DALE often, and reveal yourself to him. Thank you for all the promises that you have for this family!

In Jesus' Name,
Amen

All content © 2005, Children of Destiny

Technorati

2005-12-26T23:41:00.000+08:00

i just joined Technorati... look up my Technorati Profile.

help feed the children of Payatas

2005-12-26T09:16:00.000+08:00

I have been looking for volunteer work since last year, and an online friend told me about the Soup Kitchen. I was inspired by everything she wrote about it, and every wonderful person who wanted to help.

My daughter, Anea, pledged to give half of what she'll be getting for Christmas, a friend of mine gave enough to feed a hundred kids for a day. And yet another gave $20 directly from the States.

Indeed, a lot of people is in need of giving out something. Not everyone is in need of receiving.

For people who want to volunteer and give donations:

"People with heart for the poor and hurting can come to do any of the following:
a. Become community health advocates
b. Visit homes of the poor to learn how we can help them
c. Work with families, to teach parenting, and budgeting
d. Help create jobs, make business plans, to learn marketing skills, to get things rolling
e. Guide young people through troubled times
f. Teach computer skills, sewing, other household skills

There are presently 13 Feeding Centers located in the following places:
1. At the Soup Kitchen, Pilot Area, Brgy. Commonwealth
2. At nearby Kasunduan street, on the east side of Commonwealth Avenue near the Commonwealth Elementary School known as:
a. Kasunduan I
b. Kasunduan II
c. Kasunduan III
d. Kasunduan IV
3. Purok 10, Unit 5, Brgy. Commonwealth
4. Rizal Street, Damsite area, Payatas
5. Kaunlaran street
6. Everlasting
7. Litex
8. Sitio Veterans, Brgy. Bagong Silang
9. Rolling Hills, Payatas
10. Ph 9, Bagong Silang, Caloocan City"

Here are the NGO's bank account details, just in case you want to make your deposits directly:

For peso donations:

Prudential Bank
Retiro Branch, N.S. Amoranto St., Quezon City
Savings Account No. 01043-010963-0
For the account of: Lighthouse Center for Children Foundation, Inc.

For U.S. dollar donations:

Prudential Bank
Retiro Branch, N.S. Amoranto St., Quezon City US
Dollars S/A # 05043-001046-7
For the account of: Lighthouse Center for Children Foundation, Inc.

Donations in kind are welcome as well... rice, mongo, seasonings, vegetables, etc.

party!

2005-12-18T11:44:00.000+08:00

It was Dale's birthday yesterday...

he slept at his Dad's apartment the night before. When he got home, he found me sleeping. According to the yaya, he went straight up to the roof deck where we normally hold parties.

After looking around, he shouted "Mommy!!! Where's mommy!"

Then he came back and woke me up, and told me, "Mommy, make my party nicely and not scary, ok?"

He was frustrated as he did not see any indication that a small party was going to take place later in the day.

The food was just pancit, chicken, cake, and ice cream. During lunch we had beef in mushroom sauce. Everything was cooked by Ronald, Dale's dad. The chicken was fabulous. I did not say so during the party 'coz Ronald was too air-headed about it already. It really tastes and looks like Jollibee's chickenjoy. Hehe.

We did not invite a lot of people. We invited our relatives, but unfortunately, all of them were not available. So, the only guests were our immediate family members, and Anne, my friend from the office.

Eventhough it wasn't a big party, I was exhausted. The kids were jumping all around and Anea was having a tantrum about not getting what she wants from her Dad.

Empoy, Joanne, and Jed came later in the evening. Empoy was able to fix the pc! Yey! We just wish that it won't crash again...

Jed was so funny. He loved Pong, my pet turtle. It looked like his first time out with friends. Hehe. He jumped, laughed, and ran around the house with Dale and Tony.

My mom called from the States and greeted Dale a happy birthday. Luckily, my brother's family was already there for the party and they were able to talk to my mom, too.

It was sad that we did not get to to even talk to Papa, but all-in-all, it was a good day.

7 birthdays have gone... countless more to come!

Christmas Party...

2005-12-17T13:41:00.000+08:00

i feel guilty that i didn't come to Dale's Christmas Party.... especially when the yaya told me how excited and happy Dale was... he danced and sang the Pinoy Big Brother theme song and ate a lot...

hay...

i should've come.

If only we were rich and need not work to live.

endless possibilities

2005-12-12T16:26:00.000+08:00

hello.

I am Reich, mother to Arolf Delano (Dale, for short; 7 years old), who has Asperger's Syndrome.

I wanted to start an online reference for parents, relatives, teachers, therapists, and friends of children on the Autism Spectrum.

If there is one word that i consider my favorite, it is POSSIBILITY. Hence, the website title. 1217, stands for December 17, Dale's birthday.

I wish that with this website, other parents like me can be hopeful in finding a "cure" to Autism.

annoying....

2005-10-18T05:09:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday i went to see my Endocrinologist. My mother told me beforehand that maybe i should change doctors 'coz this doctor has a lot of patients and it was near to impossible to get an appointment right away, and that she already went to that doctor (since my Mom also has thyroid problems) and she thinks she's a git... but since her Saturday schedule is first come-first served, i tried to get in line... her clinic schedule starts at 9am... i was there at 9:15, she came at 10am... i waited for her for 6 hours before she called me in...

What's annoying is that she examined me for just a minute, touching my neck... and just gave me a slip of paper, an order for blood tests... what's annoying is that i waited for her for 6 hours and she wouldn't give me a medical certificate that i needed for the office, saying that she couldn't certify that i couldn't work for 'voice' since it isn't connected with my condition and that a lot of call centers have already called her about it... what's annoying is that the findings show that i have numerous cysts and masses on my neck obstructing my vocal chords and she said it isn't connected...

What's annoying is that Maxicare's internist actually told me that i should've been either operated on already or under medication, or my masses should've been thoroughly checked out because it might be cancerous (luckily, he gave me a medcert)... what's annoying is that she never did asked me how i was feeling... and since i was pissed off already, i just ignored the git doctor and went on my way.

What's truly annoying is that i wasn't able to watch the play that my son, Dale, and I were supposed to watch at St. Paul's College, showcasing special kids (his classmates and some others), just so i can finish this stupid check-up... He was accompanied by Archie, instead...

This was the first play that Dale watched.... she told me that Dale was ecstatic and happy and watched the play all throughout...

i should've been there... i should've been with him... i should've seen how he jumped and how he sang along... i should've been the one whispering to him to shush... super GRRRR!!!

So, i asked Maxicare for another doctor. I'm gonna see this new doctor two weeks from now... i wish she isn't as stupid passive as the last one.

Lesson learned: Listen to your mother.

of harsh realities and language barriers

2005-08-25T05:21:00.000+08:00

nung Sunday, nagsimba kami ng 10 am.. kasama ko yung dalawang kasambahay namin at ang tatlong bata... galit na galit sa akin si Dale (my son who has Asperger's Syndrome) kasi ayaw niyang magsimba... eto ang takbo ng usapan namin (pabulong ako, pasigaw siya):

Dale: I hate you Mommy... I don't love you... I want to go to Mama to the States! hmp! hmp!

Ako: Baby, we're inside the church... do not shout.

Dale: I don't want to simba eh. hmp! hmp!

(kasalanan ko to, simula ng umalis ang paryentes ko, hindi na kami nakakasimba ng regular)

Ako: But you have to go to church every Sunday starting now.

(i recently promised myself that i will teach my kids the value of religion, even if i don't actually believe in it)

Dale: No, i don't want to go to church... i'm going home! hmp! hmp!

(by now, napapansin niyo na siguro na mahilig siyang magsabi ng 'hmp!' pag galit siya)

Ako: Baby, you are not going home. You're going to finish the service. We'll go home after an hour.

Dale: I don't love you! I love Mama and Papa. Pupunta ko ng States! hmp! hmp!

(may tears na ito... and when he cries his dimples start to show... hehe... Dale's expression of disappointment in someone is telling him/her that he doesn't love that person... but he doesn't mean it, believe me...)

Ako: Baby, you need a passport and a ticket to go to the States. Shush!

(looking at me quizzically...)

Dale: what's that?

Ako: (patay mali) what's what?

Dale: passport! what's that?

Ako: ah.. eh... it's like an ID that you use in school... you need to have an ID before they let you go to the States. (darn it.)

Dale: I have an ID! (oo nga naman...)

Ako: You have a school ID. But you don't have a passport.

(silence... di na niya siguro ma-gets... ako rin eh.)

Dale: I want to go to the States. hmp! hmp!

Ako: Baby, you don't have a ticket, too.

Dale: I will buy ticket. hmp! hmp!

(karga ko na siya nito)

Ako: Baby, the ticket to the States costs too much.

Dale: How much?

Ako: (thinking that he wouldn't grasp the concept of money)we can't afford it. It's too expensive.

Dale: How much??? (okay, okay!)

Ako: Ok, it's 60T pesos.

Dale: What??? 60T???!!! Not one thousand? (astoundingly loud with matching hand gestures)

Ako: Shush! No, baby... it's 60T.

(resting his head on my shoulder, feeling resigned...)

(after a while, he asked me another heart-wrenching question...)

Dale: Do you have 60T?

Ako: (utang na loob!!!!!) No, baby... I don't even have one thousand...

tumahimik na siya nito.. dinala ko na rin kasi siya sa sindihan ng kandila para medyo malibang...

Dale speaks in English ever since he could speak. We often experience some difficulty with this 'coz not all people the he encounters are equipped with an english tongue. even his Dad gets frustrated at times.. hehe...

Yung teacher niya hindi alam kung magrereklamo o pupurihin siya kasi minsan daw nauubusan siya ng english... and there's only two of them in class who speaks in english... Dale and Kim (guapo at autistic din)...

Like dati nung nasa hospital siya, he was constantly eating pizza that he was dubbed as the 'pizza boy' by the nurses...

Doctor: eto pala yung pizza boy...

(Dale was watching TV and eating pizza and ignoring the nice doctor)

Doctor: ano'ng kinakain mo kuya? (listening to his breathing, taking his temp, and all that jazz)

(Dale still watching the TV, ignores the nice doctor)

Doctor: kuya... ano'ng kinakain mo?

(Dale still watching the TV, ignores the nice doctor)

Doctor: and suplado naman ni kuya... (sabay hawak sa chin niya)

Ako: er... you might wanna try talking to him in english... (wincing)

Doctor: ay, ganon? english spokening dollars pala si kuya eh... kuya, what's that you're eating?

Dale: (not taking his eyes of the TV) pizza.

I sometimes feel apologetic at some point that I realized Dale needs to learn how to speak and understand Tagalog... so we let him watch Tagalog shows on TV... and translate Engligh words to him to Tagalog... minsan he asks the Tagalog word himself...

Now, he understands Tagalog and speaks in Tagalog, too... sinasanay na namin... but he sounds funny when he does... medyo slang. haha.

naawa ako sa kanya 'coz he couldn't understand some of life's realities... pero little by little, he's coming out of his shell... and i'm sure that sooner or later, he will be able to understand that not all roses are red.

i'm just hoping that it will come sooner and not later...

Bea's first birthday party...

2005-08-21T06:23:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was Bea's 1st birthday, and her party was at McDonald's New Frontier... it was fun... especially since Dale and Anton were having so much of it... they gamely went through one game to another... jumping all around the place and totally enjoying themselves... have a look:

Both of them got thrown out of this game.. but they didn't throw a fit either, unlike before... so i guess, it was really pretty amazing...

fishy...

2005-08-20T06:10:00.000+08:00

Dale started to eat pritong Alumahan two days ago...

and he keeps on asking for some... hehehe...

constant improvement...

2005-08-14T06:50:00.000+08:00

Dale is improving, according to his teacher... we always encourage him to write everyday and listen to his teacher...

and he does them because I said if he doesn't I will call Papa and tell him not to send Dale CDs with games anymore.

I'm such a bad Mom. hehehe.

a life full of images

2005-08-08T23:35:00.000+08:00

marami akong hindi naisulat sa blog na ito. kaninang tiningnan ko ang aking telepono (cheap lang to, kaya malabo ang mga litrato), ang dami na palang mga litrato dito. at nalaman ko rin na merong ibang taong gumamit. hehehe. kaya ngayong day-off ko naman at wala akong gagawin dito sa bahay, naisipan kong i-post na ang mga litratong ito...

ito ang mga litratong sabi ni Dale ay siya raw ang kumuha:

ang yaya Baby nila:

at ang calculator na ginagamit niya pag tinatanong ko siya ng ten minus six at gusto niyang mandaya (ngayon ay wala na ang calculator na ito. har-har-har!):

na pati ang TV kinunan din:

kung kanino mang ano ito, ayoko ng alamin:

at ang mga ito naman ay in-edit niya gamit ng software sa
aking telepono na ang tawag ay FotoFunPack2:

at ang sunog sa may amin habang ako ay kumakain ng
paborito kong mangga at isda:

ito naman ang mga hitsura ko pag ako ay nasisiraan ng bait (bagong gising):

o kung ako ay nasa opisina at nakikinig ng mp3s:

ito ang pamangkin kong kasing cute ko, pero mas maldita kesa sa kin:

na naglalakad na, kaso lang laging natutumba:

at ang bebe kong school boy na:

at ang aking anak na kambal:

noon pa ako nagke-crave ng talaba... nami-miss ko kasi ang inuman ng tatay ko at mga kaibigan niya... hindi nawawalan dati ng talaba sa lamesang puro pulutan. nasabi ko ito kay Ronald matagal na, at isang araw, dumating siya sa bahay ng may dalang talaba, tahong, at tokwa--lahat paborito ko... yun nga lang, pahirapan. kasi pers taym kong gagawa ng kilawing talaba. di ko alam kung pano ito bubuksan (nalaman ko na lang after na pinapakuluan pala yun para bumuka--huateber!!!!). ito ang naging resulta:

hindi ko na nakunan ang finished product, kasi pagkaluto palang nito sa suka, finished na siya agad at napunta na sa tsan ni Ronald. Mana ako sa tatay ko pag tsumatsamba sa pagluluto.

and lastly, images that will never make the Mirror Project:

maraming nangyayari sa buhay ko na hindi ko rin nailalagay lahat dito... meron kasing mga bagay na nakakalimutan, meron din namang mga bagay na ayoko ng maalala pa kahit kelan.

pero sa lahat ng taong naging parte ng buhay ko... sa lahat ng karamay sa saya at lungkot... SALAMAT NG MARAMI.

Asperger's Syndrome and My Little Rain Man

2005-07-22T13:11:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Yesterday, we went to a Developmental Pediatrician to have Dale assessed for the second time. The first time if you remember was when he was almost 3 years old.

He was diagnosed as having Autism Spectrum Disorder. I know mahirap siyang intindihin... ako rin nung una, nalilito nung pinagaralan namin ito sa UP.

Nasa ibaba ang medyo scientific na page-explain ng differences ng AUTISM per se, at ng AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER (ASD), in which Dale falls.

Ngayon, under ng ASD, meron pang ibang categories, kaya tinawag na spectrum (meaning range).. which u can also find below.

Since bata pa masyado si Dale noon, hindi pa talaga pwedeng ma-pinpoint kung talagang AUTISTIC si Dale or under lang siya ng ASD.

Ngayong 6 years old na siya, the Dev Ped pinned it down to Asperger's Syndrome, which they also call high-functioning autism.

He has certain qualities or characteristics as that of an autistic child, but he has normal or even above average intelligence, and can express himself using the appropriate language.

Whereas, pag autistic, low ang intelligence (in all aspects, or is exceptional to only one--autistic savant) at hindi rin marunong mag-express ng feelings.

If you are thinking if it makes a whole lot of difference, the answer is very much so. Coz people with Asperger's Syndrome, with the right intervention, can live a normal life in the future.

he may finish school, and land a job. These aspects, I was very much worried about before.

So when the doctor told me that what Dale had was Asperger's, I could've jumped for joy... natanggalan ako ng napakaraming tinik sa dibdib...

Today, all my colleagues told me I looked it... and I told them it's because i really was happy.

Even if I didn't jump for joy, I settled to treating the kids with pizza yesterday. Hahahaha. I told them that we have to celebrate that day for Dale.

Masaya din ako because konti lang talaga mali ni Dale sa assessment. When he was asked to draw a man, he drew a stick figure. when he was asked to draw a woman, he drew another stick figure, but this time, it had two curved lines on its head resembling pigtails, and it had a skirt on. meaning: he can distinguish. even if it did looked like an ant to me.

when he was asked to draw a house, all of us cracked up. Coz he drew it complete with a chimney with smoke coming out of it.

the doctor was impressed. all of us where. nagulat din ako coz he answered questions when i didn't know he could do so. nagulat ako kasi alam pala niya yung mga bagay na yun.

Now to tell it all... syempre happiness is coupled again with some small problems.... all can be remedied with money. hahahaha.

intervention needed was behavior modification therapy which costs about 500 per session... which the doctor told us will be at least once a week depending on the therapist... so if the therapist decides that it's twice or thrice a week... it resembles an arm and a leg to me. haha.

the therapist's assessment (2500) is different from the Dev Ped's assessment which cost us 1500. the therapist's assessment is more thorough and for 3 consecutive days.

and the Dev Ped decided Dale can already be mainstreamed into a regular school... but not next year. and not in the nearby public preschool. She wants it to be done NOW. in a private preschool with only 10-15 students (Prep level). this will be done together with SPED school. so parang 2 schools ang aatenan niya... pero less na sa SPED.

these are some problems i am facing right now... but i know i can cope with it in some way.

i will be talking to his teacher on my day-off and we'll start from there. kasama rin kasi ang teacher niya sa pagpa-plan ng intervention for him.

for now, ninanamnam ko ang happiness. ayoko munang isipin ang mga kontra. hahahaha.

As i've said before, in terms of Dale's condition, God gives me happiness in small servings... but now, God gave me more than I could swallow.

Please join me in thanking God for this big miracle.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Autism is a developmental disability that affects a person's ability to communicate, understand language, play, and interact with others. Autism is a behavioral syndrome, which means that its definition is based on patterns of behaviors that a person exhibits. Autism is not an illness or a disease. It is not contagious and, as far as we know, it is not acquired through contact with the environment.

Autism is a neurological disability that is presumed to be present from birth and is always apparent before the age of three. Although autism affects the functioning of the brain, the specific cause of autism is unknown. In fact, it is widely assumed that there are most likely multiple causes, each of which may be manifested in different forms, or subtypes, of autism.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is an increasingly popular term that refers to a broad definition of autism including the classical form of the disorder as well as closely related disabilities that share many of the core characteristics. ASD includes the following diagnoses and classifications:

(1) Pervasive Developmental Disorder—Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS), which refers to a collection of features that resemble autism but may not be as severe or extensive;

(2) Rett's syndrome, which affects girls and is a genetic disorder with hard neurological signs, including seizures, that become more apparent with age;

(3) Asperger syndrome, which refers to individuals with autistic characteristics but relatively intact language abilities, and;

(4) Childhood Disintegrative Disorder, which refers to children whose development appears normal for the first few years, but then regresses with the loss of speech and other skills until the characteristics of autism are conspicuous. Although the classical form of autism can be readily distinguished from other forms of ASD, the terms autism and ASD are often used interchangeably.

Asperger's Disorder is the term for a specific type of pervasive developmental disorder which is characterized by problems in development of social skills and behavior. In the past, many children with Asperger's Disorder were diagnosed as having autism, another of the pervasive developmental disorders, or other disorders. While autism and Asperger's have certain similarities, there are also important differences. For this reason, children suspected of having these conditions require careful evaluation.

In general, a child with Asperger's Disorder functions at a higher level than the typical child with autism. For example, many children with Asperger's Disorder have normal intelligence. While most children with autism fail to develop language or have language delays, children with Asperger's Disorder are usually using words by the age of two, although their speech patterns may be somewhat odd.

Most children with Asperger's Disorder have difficulty interacting with their peers. They tend to be loners and may display eccentric behaviors. A child with Asperger's, for example, may spend hours each day preoccupied with counting cars passing on the street or watching only the weather channel on television. Coordination difficulties are also common with this disorder. These children often have special educational needs.

Although the cause of Asperger's Disorder is not yet known, current research suggests that a tendency toward the condition may run in families. Children with Asperger's Disorder are also at risk for other psychiatric problems including depression, attention deficit disorder, schizophrenia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

The outcome for children with Asperger's Disorder is generally more promising than for those with autism. Due to their higher level of intellectual functioning, many of these children successfully finish high school and attend college. Although problems with social interaction and awareness persist, they can also develop lasting relationships with family and friends.

my own little Rain Man.

2005-07-08T05:35:00.000+08:00

i watched Rain Man a couple of days back.... and in the middle of the movie, i felt the familiar tears streaming down my cheeks.

the movie brought back my worries.... my doubts... my confusion... my fear of the future for my son, Dale.

On the 20th, he will be assessed again by a Developmental Pediatrician... and i'm currently feeling like he was gonna take the board exams... what if he 'fails'? what if the doctor says that he still cannot be transferred to a regular school? what if she says he cannot live a normal life?

But just like what my cousin told me... just like the board exams, you get to have another try.... if not next year, then we still have the next.

there's not a day that i do not think of Dale's future... will he be able to finish school? will he be able to get a job? will he be able to get over his fear of rain? marry and have kids?

don't get me wrong.... Dale is not like the children with autism you see on tv... he does not have too many peculiar traits... he does not rock back and forth... he does not look like one at all...

but he does get scared when it rains... even when it isn't raining yet... he slams the door shut, closes the windows, and draws the blinds down when he sees the sky turning gray...

he says it's gonna rain... like a weather man.

and it always does.

and he cowardly lies down the sofa and covers his ears with a pillow, or with his fingers... and just lie there for hours on end.

and when i remove his fingers he will start screaming at me.

i asked him once why he's scared of rain... he says because it brings thunder... and he's scared of thunder... that it hurts his ears...

and the thought of how much it hurts him hurts me, too.

How long will this go on? How much more pain will my son endure? Why him? Why this?

But everyday, I still thank God for his successes and failures...
days when he reasons out...
days when he talks to me on the phone...
days when he looks at me when he talks...
days when he does not get sick...
days when i wake up in the middle of the night and i see him breathing...
days when he says something funny, and knowing that it was...
days when he tells me what date it was yesterday, today, and the next day...
days when he remembers how many of his classmates were absent the day before...
days when i ask him something about the peculiar things he does, and he reasons out, and then i, feeling like a fool and ashamed of myself, finally understands why he does them, because it wasn't really peculiar to him at all...
days that go by that he does not have a seizure...

Even with all the bad things that happened to me and my family... I still am grateful.

...everyday I thank God for my own little Rain Man.

Dale's first day of school this year.

2005-06-16T14:56:00.000+08:00

the excited school boy is coming to rule Pasay City SPED Center again.

weird book and pc addict

2005-06-11T14:58:00.000+08:00

Joanne gave this to him or Tony, i couldn't remember...
a weird THE INCREDIBLES book that you
need to read in front of a mirror.

the computer addict strikes again.

he strikes everyday.

thrice a day.

Mona Lisa Smile

2005-06-01T03:32:00.000+08:00

Last night, I watched Mona Lisa Smile on VCD that I rented from Video City. I also rented Wimbledon and Summer Catch.

There was nothing really special about the movie, except that the main role was portrayed by Julia Roberts. It was done well enough, but it didn't catch my attention all too well.

I have watched a handful of movies about teachers and how they managed to make a difference in their students' lives. Which is exactly what Julia, a.ka. Ms. Watson wanted to do.

I say that making a difference can be done by anybody and anything. Teachers are not the only ones capable of doing so. Though, they have the authority, the outlet, the medium to do just that.

I believe that all the more crucial is that you make yourself important in someone else' life. Sure, you can make a difference... but that difference can only burn your skin, and not bore through your bones. It may change your mind, but not your spirit.

Hence, i take this opportunity to name a few of my teachers, and people who are important to me because they made a difference in my life:

to Momma who have sacrificed everything to hone me into a good person like you
(hehe).

to Papa who have taught me that if i wouldn't want to lose something, i have to keep an eye on it.

to Kuya Dudei who have shown me that change is not impossible in people.

to Erick who have taught me about respect and kinship.

to Ronald (yes, i have something to be thankful for) for giving me three of my reasons for breathing.

to Anea who have given me great pride just by knowing that I am a part of you.

to Dale who have taught me how to be strong, patient, loving, awed, and who gave me the drive and determination to learn more and want more, and never give up in finding a 'cure'...

to Anton who reminded me that i was also a sweet kid when i was his age...

to Archie who didn't leave us in times that we do not have enough.

to Bes, who didn't flinch and who didn't leave me in times of trouble.

to Scarface who taught me that distance is never a hindrance to love and family.

to Caloi, for teaching me to let go of the past after you've cried enough.

to the whole team, for teaching me how to shut up.

to Bon, who made me realize that men do cry and get hurt, that life is unfair sometimes and that it is hateful to be human... but most of all, for making me 'quit'.

to Anne, for teaching me how to be generous, and that sexiness is not about how big your boobs are, but how high your forehead actually is..... nah, it's still about the boobies.

and to Mai, for everything else in between.

i do not know why Mona Lisa was smiling...

but if i were her, these are the reasons why i would be.

p.s.
a lot of people have not been mentioned... but they remain in my heart, and i am forever idebted to them for bringing out the worst and best part of me. I love all of you.

angel in flight

2005-03-05T15:05:00.000+08:00

the wings were part of Anea's classroom play costume.
when he tried it on, i swear he could've flown right out the window.
he looked like an ANGEL.

really.

2005-03-04T15:02:00.000+08:00

they needed a sporty costume at school...
we were lucky that someone gave this to him last Christmas.

i totally forgot who did.

i wonder who.

Hmmm.

the day before Valentine's

2005-02-13T15:14:00.000+08:00

i have never celebrated Valentine's day the usual way.

a dinner date.

a movie.

chocolates and flowers.

not my style.

or maybe, i wasn't invited.

LOL.

anyway, i'd rather spend the day with Dale making funny faces.

against the wall

2005-02-13T15:00:00.000+08:00

i took this picture of him while he was looking at my feet.
he liked it and said it was funny.
i wonder why.